Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
In recent years, there has been a growing trend that people tend to buy things on the Internet. This presentspresent both pros and conscos, however, in my opinion, its benefits are much more significant than the drawbacks.On the one hand, shopping online brings consumers some disadvantagesdisadvatages. Initially, since people are unable to touch or to see the products they want to buy in reality, it is always hard for them to examine the quality of these products. As a result, they might purchase poor-quality itemspurchase the items with poor quality. In addition to that, as consumers do not feel happy with the items they havehad bought online, they tend to abandon these products or don’t use them at all. This is definitely a wastewatse of money. Moreover, buying things on the Internetbuyings thing on the Internet often confuses peoplemakes people confused since there are a great number of shops on the Internet. To be specific, buyers might see the same products in several shops, but the prices for these items can be very different, ranging from reasonable to prohibitivelyprohibitedly expensive price. Consequently, they will not know which products they should purchase. On the other hand, I am of the opinionI am of opinion that shopping online brings people a number of benefits. First, shopping online allows consumers to browse for products and checkchecking prices acrossbetween these online shops. In this way, people can make a better decision to buy what they like after taking prices, sizes and models into consideration. From my experience, I used to buy an elegant dress from a virtual shopat virtual shop, which was cheaper compared to some shops near my househouses. Second, buyingbuyings things on the Internet helps people save a great deal of time. That is to say, since people nowadays are often so caught up with work and study, shopping online is a wise choice which doesn’t require them to go tothe the stores. With a click of a mouseWith a click of mouse, they can buy the things they need and the shippers will deliver their products to customers as soon as possible. Third, since there is a high demand forof buying things online, many people can realize their dream of starting up their own business and achieve success in the long runrub This can be seen as a positive trend because it creates good job opportunities for people and thereby help people to improve their income and well-being. This also contributes to boosting the economy of a nation in generalgenerall. In conclusion, although buyings things on the Internet exerts some adverse aspects, the advantages can justify these.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response takes a clear position and supports it with several relevant disadvantages and more extensive advantages, including useful explanation and a personal example. Its main limitation is the persistent inaccuracy in grammar, spelling, and word choice, compounded by presenting the whole essay as one block. The highest priority is to proofread sentence forms and organise the argument into distinct, logically focused paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is fully addressed with a clear position and several relevant ideas that are generally explained and illustrated.
Develop the strongest comparative reason more deeply so the judgement that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages is more explicitly demonstrated.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a recognisable introduction-to-disadvantages-to-advantages sequence, but the absence of paragraph breaks and mechanical sequencing weaken organisation.
Separate the introduction, each main side, and the conclusion into clear paragraphs with smoother links between related ideas.
Lexical Resource
The response uses enough vocabulary to discuss consumer choice, convenience, employment, and economic effects, though spelling and collocation errors recur.
Replace inaccurate combinations such as unnatural price and business expressions with precise, conventional collocations and proofread spelling carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and verb forms reduce control.
Edit each sentence for subject-verb agreement and consistent noun and verb forms before adding further structural complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.