Many people are optimistic of the 21st century and see it as an opportunity to make positive changes to the world. To what extent do you share their optimism? What changes would you like to see in the new century?
Sample Response
Change is naturalChange is but natural. Everything undergoes many changes over timea sea of changes over a period. Many changes are expected in the 21st century. I am an optimistic person and I believe there will be many beneficial changes which I would like to see in the 21st century.
To begin with,To begin with many positive changes are expected in the medical field. Our researchers are working day and night to find treatments for various types of cancerfind treatment of various types of cancers and other fatal diseases such as AIDS. Because of advanced diagnostic techniques such as MRI and nuclear scanstechniques like MRI and nuclear scan, many diseases can be detected early enough for treatment to be possibledetected so early that treatment is now possible. Research is also advancing in cell transplantationAdvances are also going on for cell transplant as an alternative to organ transplantationinstead of organ transplant. If this becomes possibletrue, transplant surgeries will become a thing of the past.
Furthermore, terrorism and war will exist only in history booksterrorism and wars will be there only in history books. The worldThe whole planet Earth has already shrunk into a global village. National boundaries will disappear completely. We will also have better alternative energy sourcesalternatives to energy sources. Global warming will be dealt with effectively and everyone will have the basic necessitiesamenities of life.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response uses generally clear language and presents an unmistakably optimistic position, with relevant examples from medicine, peace, energy, and living standards. However, at only 180 words, these predictions remain largely asserted rather than explained, and the essay ends without a conclusion that consolidates the extent of the writer's optimism. The priority is to develop two or three changes with reasons and examples, then add a concise concluding judgement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions receive relevant answers and the optimistic position is clear, but the substantial shortfall in length leaves most proposed changes insufficiently developed.
Select two or three predicted changes and explain why they are realistic and beneficial with specific supporting examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from its position to medical and broader social changes, but the final paragraph becomes list-like and there is no conclusion.
Give the last body paragraph one controlling idea and add a conclusion that synthesizes the degree of optimism.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of topic-specific vocabulary, though several expressions and collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Use more natural combinations such as treatments for diseases, advances in cell transplantation, and alternative energy sources.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex and simple sentences is generally well controlled, and grammatical errors seldom affect clarity.
Polish punctuation after introductory phrases and check article and noun-phrase choices in technical descriptions.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people are optimistic of the 21st century and see it as an opportunity to make positive changes to the world. To what extent do you share their optimism? What changes would you like to see in the new century?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.