It has been suggested that everyone in the world want to own a car, a tv, and a fridge.do you think the disadvantages of such a development outweigh the advantages?
Sample Response
Civilians worldwide are living hectic liveslife right now; to live comfortablyto stay peacefully, they wantare demanding vehiclesvehicles l and electronic gadgets. It is stated that everybody desires to purchase a car, a television, and a fridge. In this essay, I will explainI have described why it is more beneficial to have these things.
There are several disadvantagescons if people keep buying cars and electronic gadgets. Firstly, these are the things which are harming our environment through pollutionby pollutions. Cars create traffic, air pollution, noise. TelevisionTv creates eyesight problems. The refrigerator is also an environmentally harmfulanti-eco-friendly invention. Secondly, if people keep buyingif people will keep buying these things, it will also negatively impact the economy. For example, if civilians buy a car, they will have to purchase fuelfuels to run their vehicle; it will increase demand for fuelfuels; thus, we will face higher fuel pricesan increased fuel rate. Fuels are connected to all our basic needseverything of our primary need so the rate of all our needs will also increase, and in the end, it will create lots of problems in the world. Finally, after buying these things, peopleafter buying these things people will become lazy. Instead of walking or using public transport, they’ll use their cars; besides, instead of exercising or doing creative activitiesexercising, creative activities, they will waste their time watching television.
However, lots of things worldwide are changing right now, so people’s needs are also changing. In the past, people lived life peacefully without any kind of device or vehicle as life was different earlier. Nowadays,Now a day’s people have so many things on their daily checklist. To finish all of them, they need the help of technologytechnologies. Buying a car is so beneficial because it is a time saver and is comfortable and convenient. Public transit takes time sometimes, but we can reach our location fast in a car. Some places where public transport doesn’t access one can go there quickly by car. Previously, people had to buyEarlier, people have to buy groceries every day, but now they can buy in bulk and refrigerate it, so it is also convenient for them. With the help of a fridge, we can refrigerate our food to save time in cooking, and refrigerate helps in many other ways. When people need relief from a stressful lifeFrom full-stress life, when people need entertainment, they can quickly turn on the television and watch whatever they want. Also, they can get news from anywhere in the world in a second on TV.
To conclude I would like to say, using more technologies is spoiling the environment. However, to live life with fewer problems, people have to buy a car, fridge, and tv.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable structure and presents relevant advantages and disadvantages of widespread ownership, with practical examples for each item. Its main limitation is that several arguments are loosely reasoned and the language contains frequent grammatical and word-choice problems, though the central message remains understandable. The highest-priority improvement is to develop fewer, more convincing comparisons while checking sentence structure and collocations carefully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response discusses both sides and indicates that the advantages are greater, but some supporting claims are insufficiently convincing or precisely connected to the comparison.
Explain two or three major benefits and drawbacks in depth, then explicitly show why the chosen side carries more weight.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear overall sequence with appropriate paragraphing, although progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical or loosely connected.
Use clearer cause-and-effect links between claims and support, and avoid long strings of ideas joined mainly by semicolons or listing phrases.
Lexical Resource
The response has enough vocabulary for the topic, but frequent inaccurate forms and collocations reduce naturalness and precision.
Prioritise accurate common expressions such as pollution, fuel prices, modern technology, and stressful lives before attempting less familiar wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied sentence structures, but frequent errors with articles, plurals, conditionals, tense, and clause construction weaken control.
Edit each complex sentence for one complete main clause and accurate verb forms, then check articles and countable nouns systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It has been suggested that everyone in the world want to own a car, a tv, and a fridge.do you think the disadvantages of such a development outweigh the advantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.