All fathers should be entitled to time off work when their child is born. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Whether fathers should be given paternity leave has become a topic of debate. From my point of view, this policy is beneficialthis notion is commendable for several reasons.
To start with, allowing men to take parental leaveallowing for men’s use of parental leave will help relieve stress foroff their partners and themselves. First, fathers and mothers alike experience tension prior to, during, and after childbirth; therefore, paternity leave should be given to help them cope with a new phase in their lives. It has been scientifically proven that men can experience couvade syndromemales can undergo couvade syndrome, in which fathers-to-be suffer from some symptoms similar to those ofsome of the similar symptoms as their pregnant partners. If these men are forced to work, their productivity could decrease and their work quality may be affected negatively. Moreover, taking care of a newborn is often a demanding periodoftentimes a taxing phase in a woman’s life; that is why having their partnerspartner share the burden of childcare will be mentally and physically beneficial to new mothers. Spouses can take turns looking after the baby, letting the other parent rest and at the same time, forming close bonds with their child.
In addition, paternity leave can be financially beneficial, especially fortowards working mothers. In families where the woman is the main breadwinner, having husbands stay at homehaving the husbands stay at home to look after their children can help relieve financial stress. Additionally, paternity leave can contribute to reducingcan also contribute to reducing the wage gap between men and womenmales and females by empowering mothers to continue their careerspreserve their profession and sharing parenting responsibilities equally between both parentsdelegating equal parenting responsibilities between the two sexes, leaving more time for women to focus on their careers. Moreover, for families in which the grandparents cannot help care for newbornscannot help taking care of newborns, the parents can save a substantial amount of money on childcaresave a huge amount of money on nannies to support new mothers because fathers can provide that caresince the fathers can play that role.
To conclude, fathers should have the right to take time off work after their children are born. This is because paternity leave will help new parents reduce both emotional and financial stressrelieve stress, both mentally and financially.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear, consistent position and develops two relevant benefits of paternity leave with specific explanation. Its main limitation is recurring imprecision in collocation and a few overextended sentences, which occasionally make the argument sound less natural; the highest-priority improvement is to use simpler, more idiomatic phrasing while sharpening the financial argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the question, sustains its agreement, and develops relevant emotional and financial benefits in detail.
Strengthen the financial case by explaining more precisely how universal entitlement would affect different families and employers.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and logical sequencing support strong progression, though repeated additive transitions sometimes feel mechanical.
Use fewer signposting words and rely more on the logical relationship between consecutive sentences to create smoother cohesion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and topic-specific, but several collocations are awkward or imprecise despite remaining understandable.
Use more idiomatic combinations, such as 'relieve stress for,' 'maintain a career,' and 'help care for a newborn.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used with generally strong control, although several local construction and agreement errors occur.
Simplify overextended sentences and check comparative structures, pronoun reference, and singular-plural agreement during revision.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
All fathers should be entitled to time off work when their child is born. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.