Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Crime rates in many countries have risen beyond tolerable levelsCrimes, in many countries, have gone beyond the tolerable rate, and it is a common practice to incarcerate convicted people. A segment of society opines that not all crimes are equal and the consequencesrepercussion of harsh sentences for all offences is uncivilised. They advocateThey outline the need for unpaid community service as a punishmentservice as punishment for minor and juvenile offendersmild offenders and youngsters, and I also believe that certain offenders should be given non-custodial sentences.
The predominant reason for me to believe in compulsoryvoluntary community service like cleaning streets, planting trees, and working for charity instead of athe prison sentence is that many offenders are not born criminals, and circumstances often push them to commit a transgression. When such offenders whose crimes were unpremeditatedunpremeditated convicts are expelled from society, they are more likely to reoffendthey incline to re-offend in isolation as no one is willing to accept themthere is none to accept them. In a similar fashion, juvenile delinquents should be rehabilitated by involvingindulging them in community service rather than putcommunity services, and not put them behind bars with other serious criminals. A recent study reveals that many youngsters who had been in prison for a long time often end up becoming more serious offenderseven bigger criminals.
Moreover, one of the main objectives of our justice system is to reducecontrol the crime rate and help offenders rehabilitatelet offenders come clean. So if we give mild offenders longlarge prison sentences, they would never get the chance to transform themselves. Unpaid community serviceThe unpaid community services, unlike harsh prison sentences, let offenders repent offor their crimes, get close to other people and understand the essence of good deeds. To illustrate, around 80% of people who had to take part in cleaning and taking care of elderly people as part of their first minor offencesfirst-time small violations of laws in the state of California said that it positively impacted their view on crimes and changed their mentality. The same can not be said for the people who are put behind bars.
To recapitulate, minor misconduct should be treated differently than serious offences and thus deserves different punishments like unpaid community work. The objective of the law is to maintain peace in society, not to punish people. Thus unpaid community service is a great option to allow some convicted offenders to regret their crimeslet some convicted lament their crime, do something good for society, and transform into good citizens.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay sustains a clear, appropriately qualified position and develops persuasive reasons centred on rehabilitation, reduced reoffending, and social reintegration. Its main limitation is lexical precision: several sophisticated-looking expressions are used unnaturally, and the numerical study is presented without credible grounding. The highest-priority improvement is to retain the strong argument structure while using exact criminal-justice terminology and more defensible illustrative evidence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout and both main reasons are fully developed with relevant explanations and examples focused on minor and young offenders.
Clarify that community work is compulsory rather than voluntary and support the rehabilitation claim with a credible general example instead of an unverifiable statistic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is well sequenced, paragraphs are purposeful, and comparisons between imprisonment and community service progress coherently.
Trim repeated references to transformation and rehabilitation so each paragraph advances a more distinct reason.
Lexical Resource
The essay displays a wide criminal-justice vocabulary, but recurrent miscollocations such as mild offenders, large sentences, and lament their crime reduce precision.
Use accurate terms such as minor offenders, lengthy sentences, first-time offences, make amends, and show remorse.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are used confidently and most are accurate, with occasional agreement, article, conditional, and reference errors.
Polish agreement and hypothetical forms in sentences about misconduct, community services, and what offenders would gain.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.