More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. Why is this happening? What measures can be taken to reverse this trend?
Sample Response
An alarming number of people today consume sugar-based drinks, whether in the form ofwhether it is in the form of soda, energy drinks or fruit drinks. Often, consumersOften consumers are lured by their widespread availability and convenience; however, marketingconvenience, however, marketing campaigns also play a role, targeting young people and creating the perceptiongiving them the perception that sugary drinks are healthier than they actually arenot as unhealthy as they actually are.
The availability of these types of drinks has greatly increased over time. They can now be found in almost any store or restaurant, which makes them easily accessible to almost anyone. The fact that they are often cheaper than alternatives, such as water or freshly squeezed juice, makes them an especially attractive option for those on a budget. Marketing campaigns for sugary beverages have been quite successful in creating positive associations with these productspositive associations attached to these products through advertisements on TV and billboards. This encourages people to view them as fun and harmlessconsider them fun rather than unhealthy and normalises them within society.
Luckily, reversing the rise in popularity of sugary drinks is still possible if we act nowpossible, if we act now and attack the problem from different angles. One of the first stepsvery first steps should be to educate people aboutshould be educating people on the health risks associated with high sugar intake so that they can make better-informed decisions when selecting what type of beverage they consume. Companies should also be held accountable by law for their misleading marketing campaigns aimed at children and teenagers who are more likely to believe the false claims about their products’ health benefits without fully understanding what’s being sold to them. Schools, colleges, universities and other institutions catering for young peopleSchools, colleges and universities, and any institutions catering for young people, should consider banning sugary drinks and replacing them with refreshing alternatives without added sugar.
Overall, it is important that we recognise the potential health risks posed by consuming too much sugar from soft drinks and take actionable steps towards reversing this trend in order to ensure our long-term wellbeing. Through greater education, government regulation, and increased corporate responsibility, we canincreased corporate responsibility we can ensure that more people understand why reducing their intake of sugary beverages is important while still allowing them to access enjoyable yet healthier options.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response directly answers both questions with well-developed explanations of availability, price, and marketing, followed by practical and clearly justified measures. Its main limitations are minor: a few long sentence boundaries are imperfect, and some claims could be framed more precisely. The highest priority is to polish punctuation and concision so that the already strong reasoning is expressed with consistently effortless control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the causes and solutions with relevant, extended ideas and a consistent focus on reversing the trend.
Refine a few broad claims about pricing and marketing so that every supporting point is precisely qualified.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is sequenced logically across focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the argument smoothly with minimal intrusion.
Make the final paragraph slightly more concise to avoid restating earlier solution points at unnecessary length.
Lexical Resource
A wide, flexible vocabulary conveys the argument precisely, with only occasional slightly wordy or less exact phrasing.
Prefer leaner formulations where expressions such as “positive associations attached to these products” can be stated more directly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with only minor punctuation and sentence-boundary lapses.
Separate or correctly punctuate independent clauses, particularly around conjunctive adverbs such as “however.”
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. Why is this happening? What measures can be taken to reverse this trend?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.