Young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to work or study in cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the drawbacks?
Sample Response
The comparison of standards of the cities and small town or villages has been always a debate. Recently, young people are choosingteenagers choose to live in the cities rather than in their rural hometownsrather than their home villages because of school or job opportunities. This essay will discuss multiple reasons behind this trend and explain why the advantages of being in a city do indeed outweigh its drawbacks.
There are several reasons for wanting to livereasons to desire living in urban areas. Firstly, living in a city gives peopleit gives people an opportunity to study in better schools that are unavailablebetter schools which cannot be found in rural areas. Since in the modern world education is very important for people's futureseducation means very much for people’s future, it is crucial to have higher education qualificationsdegrees to help those individuals findfor those individuals to find well-paid jobs. In addition to that, city life provides people with completely different experiences from those available in their home villagesdifferent experiences than their home villages. Thanks to the schools, work or social gathering places, they get to meet a greater number of people from all around the country compared to their rural towns which is crucial for one’s personal development. Lastly, in the cities, not only they get bigger number of job options, but also they can earn larger amount of money. It is very well knownknow that the job marketthat job market is significantly limited in villages, andin the villages also the availablecurrent jobs barely pay enough.
It is clearly seen that benefits of leaving villages outweigh the few drawbacksbenefits of leaving villages outweigh its few number of deficits. It is worth mentioningIt is worth to mention that people face some issues, such as being away from their extended family, a more competitive and challenging job marketmore competitive and challenging job market, and a substantially higher cost of livingsubstantially more expensive living cost, when they move to the cities. Advantages like learning and exploring new experiences, getting a better education leading to a better paid job and having an interesting career, however, surpass the number of the drawbacks of this development.
To conclude, there are various reasons for young generation to leave their homes to live in the cities and this movement’s benefits easily outweigh its disadvantages.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response clearly answers both questions and gives several relevant reasons for rural-to-urban migration, with a consistent position that the benefits are greater. Its main limitation is that the comparison is asserted more than demonstrated and frequent awkward word choices and grammatical slips reduce precision; the highest-priority improvement is to develop the trade-off explicitly while proofreading article, agreement, and sentence-structure errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the reasons for migration and gives a clear, consistent judgement that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks.
Compare specific benefits and drawbacks directly to demonstrate why the former are more significant instead of mainly listing each side.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organised and easy to follow, though the long reasons paragraph contains several ideas with limited internal separation.
Group closely related reasons and give each one a clearer explanatory sequence before moving to the next.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but recurring awkward collocations and word-form choices reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace expressions such as few number of deficits, education means very much, and expensive living cost with standard collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, but agreement, article, inversion, and sentence-boundary errors recur throughout.
Prioritise accurate clause structure, especially not only inversion, article use, and joining independent clauses without comma splices.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to work or study in cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the drawbacks?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.