Some people think it is better for children to have many short holidays during the year. Others believe it would be beneficial to have fewer, longer vacations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
It is irrefutable that, due to the modern lifestyle, holidays have become part and parcel of daily life. Children need to have a holiday to relax and restore their mental abilities. Some people believe school children should be given multiple short vacations. However, there is a counterargument that holidays should have for a long time. Both arguments needBoth the argument needs proper scrutiny before forming an opinion.
Going with the first school of thought, multiple holidays helphelps to reduce mental stress among childrenovercome the mental stress among children. According to them, some schools givesome school gives multiple short vacations, which bringbrings numerous benefits for students and their families. Even with multiple short rests, children are able to develop important skillsdevelop crucial potential and easily get familiar with the widerouter world. For instance, all teenagers need family attention, those who study far away from home, and that time to interact with their near ones after a specific time period. As a result, they feel supportedoverwhelmed and easily remember moral values, thus leading to always staying on the right track instead of negative influencesthe wrong society. In additionTo add it, when schools give appropriate short breaksappropriate small trips to children, they easily engage with their studiesengage with study and perform well in academic termsseasons.
The opposite school of thought, however, deems that schools and individuals will not serve any purpose because long holidays also have ample advantages in learner life. After a hectic day of work and study pressurepressure of study, no one likes small holidays. Therefore, they expect some long days off, during which they can restorewhich they can easily restore their memories and gain interest in real life. For example, some families often organise productive trips for several days in which children easily interact and acquire some crucial information from their surroundings and also gain life experiencetake a life experience that they regard as long-lastingwhich contemplates as long-lasting for them, whereas spending time in outer destination without reviewing their lesson in class. Moreover, a long break makes children idle and tired and also forget their daily routine, which causes health issues and makes them less efficient in studies.
In the end, after analysing both sides of the argument, I believe that a short vacation must be favourable in the children’s life without taking a break from studies and make their lifestyle punctual. Therefore, long holidays are useful for students studying outside of the country and require a time at least several weeks with their families when they get a sort of break.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response covers both holiday patterns and gives a preference, while its four-paragraph structure provides a visible route through the discussion. The main limitation is that several ideas are confusing, contradictory, or weakly connected to the view being discussed, and frequent language errors strain clarity. The highest priority is to assign one clear argument to each side, explain it logically, and use simpler, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and an opinion are present, but development is uneven and the discussion of longer holidays includes contradictory or unclear reasoning.
Give each view one distinct, relevant benefit, develop it with a clear example, and state an unambiguous final preference.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and broad sequencing are apparent, but unclear referencing, faulty connectors, and internally inconsistent points disrupt progression.
Organise each body paragraph around one controlling idea and check that every supporting sentence advances that idea.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a fair range of vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices sometimes obscure the intended meaning.
Prefer familiar, precise expressions and revise unnatural phrases such as “academic seasons,” “wrong society,” and “outer destination.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, clause structure, and sentence construction reduce clarity.
Use shorter sentence patterns accurately first, then combine clauses only when subjects, verbs, and logical relationships are clear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think it is better for children to have many short holidays during the year. Others believe it would be beneficial to have fewer, longer vacations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.