Some people think that strict punishments for driving offenses are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
It is irrefutable that road accidents are rising sharplyincreasing enormously as the number of vehicles increaseswith the rise in automobiles and congestion. It is typically believed to be reduced only by imposing capital punishments on citizens who do not follow accurate traffic regulations. In contrast, the other school of thought claims that various other measures can be implementedprotocols can be practiced to improve road safetyfor a secure commute. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will elucidate both viewpoints from a unique perspective along with my certitude to the former stance with credible illustrations.
Considering the first viewScrutinizing the given assertion and elaborating further, some individuals think it is obligatory to impose severe penalties onenforce severe charges against people who violate traffic norms. In certain circumstances, commuters lose their lives when involved in such dangerous incidentsunprecedented situations, and this represents a devastating lossit is colossal damage. To cite an illustration, if a person consumes alcohol Deleteknowingly or unknowingly and drives, there is a substantial risk of an accidentthere are substantial chances of an accident. It is hazardous not only to the driverthe particular individual but also to other passengers. Similarly, if an individual exceeds the speed limit while driving, as they might be in a hurry to reach the destination, they maywould lose control, eventually leading to accidents. It is dangerous forto everyone traveling nearby. Therefore, it is pivotal for the government to impose strict punishments on those who violate traffic rulesimpose strict punishments who violate traffic rules as other travelers’ lives are in jeopardy.
Various effectiveefficient measures can be implemented rather than punishing people. Citizens should be educated regarding traffic norms and regulations in their educational institutionsinstitutes or workplaces. The local authorities can organize campaigns to raise awareness of driving rules and the consequences of breaking themraise awareness in order to follow the rules while driving and the difficult circumstances involved if not followed correctly. Furthermore, the government should employ traffic officersemploy supervisors and ensure that driving licenses are issued appropriatelyaccurately. To exemplify, it must be provided to citizens only if they are above 21 years and teenagers or young adults must be forbidden. Hence, multiple methods can be followed rather than imposing capital punishment.
Taking everything into consideration, although there are a plethora of measures that can be adapted in terms of raising awareness, education, and distribution of licenses if a person loses their life, then there is no going back. Thus it is critical to impose severe punishments who violate the fundamental norms to improve safety on roads.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both perspectives, maintains a clear preference for strict punishment, and organises the discussion into a logical sequence. Its main limitation is the frequent use of inaccurate or exaggerated vocabulary, especially references to capital punishment, which weakens the precision of otherwise relevant ideas. The highest-priority improvement is to use straightforward, exact terms and explain more clearly why particular penalties would prevent accidents better than education or licensing measures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are discussed and a consistent opinion is given, although the case for punishment is not fully compared with the alternative measures.
Directly compare the likely effectiveness of proportionate penalties with education, enforcement, and licensing before confirming the preferred approach.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure supports clear progression, though some formulaic signposting and loosely connected sentences make the argument feel mechanical.
Replace stock introductory phrases with precise topic sentences that state each paragraph’s central claim and its relation to the thesis.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a broad vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision and occasionally distort the intended meaning.
Prioritise accurate terms such as “severe penalties” and “road-safety measures” instead of forced expressions such as “capital punishments” or “protocols can be practiced.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is attempted successfully, but recurring article, preposition, agreement, and clause-control errors remain noticeable.
Review complex sentences for complete clause structure and correct noun modification, especially constructions involving who receives punishment or licences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that strict punishments for driving offenses are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.