In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Sample Response
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some young people have very little leisure timefind themselves with very little leisure time. I believe there are two main causes of this situation. The first is parental pressure and the second is competition fo r university places.
Every parent wants to see his or her child do well in school and go on to have a successful career. This means that they exert pressure on their children to study at home for hours each dayspend hours each day studying at home. Some even arrange extra tuition for their children. In my own country, it is not uncom mon for young people to spend another three hours at small private schools after their usual day at statestale school is over. DeleteAs a consequence, their leisure time is extr src=”//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js”>
emely limited and the pressure on them is considerable.
The second cause arises from the higher education systemis related to the higher education system. Each year, there are many more applicantsmany times more applicants to university than there are university places. As a result,The result of this is that only those students with very high grades obtain a placemanage to obtain a place. This increases the pressure on teenagers becauseThis contributes to the pressure on teenagers since they must work long hours to have any chance of success.
One solution to the problem is to raise parents’ awareness offor parents to be made aware of the effects of placing too much pressure on their childrenthe effects of the pressure they put on their children. Schools should inform parents that too much pressure can lead to anxiety, stress and depression. They should be shown ways to helpways in which they can help their children balance their studies with a reasonable amount of leisure timelead more balanced lives with a reasonable amount of leisure time.
Another effective measure would be for the government to invest in creating more university placesinvest in the creation of more university places. This could involveThis could be done by expanding existing universities or by building new ones. This would have the effect of easing competition for places, giving teenagersplaces giving teenagers some of their precious free timelime back.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its complete, well-matched treatment of two causes and two practical solutions, each developed through clear explanation. Its main limitation is source-text corruption, including split words and an inserted script fragment, which interrupts an otherwise fluent and logically organised essay. The highest-priority improvement is a careful final clean-up to remove extraneous text and repair damaged wording before submission.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both causes are clearly identified and developed, and each is matched with a relevant, feasible solution.
Strengthen the ending with a brief synthesis showing how the proposed measures directly reduce both pressure and lost leisure time.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced and well paragraphed, with clear movement from causes to corresponding solutions, although corrupted text briefly disrupts flow.
Remove the inserted fragment and restore the broken sentence so the progression remains uninterrupted throughout.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and precise across education, competition, wellbeing, and policy, but several damaged or mistyped words undermine polish.
Correct the corrupted spellings and scan for accidental substitutions so otherwise accurate word choice remains consistently clear.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures are varied and generally well controlled, with accurate complex clauses across most of the response despite a locally broken passage.
Repair the sentence interrupted by markup and check punctuation around participial phrases to preserve grammatical completeness.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.