Some people think the qualities a person needs to become successful in today’s world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Sample Response
Success, an expected good result that a person may reach, is determineddedicated by various qualities including personal characteristicscharacters, knowledge accumulation, and cooperative spirit. That universities or colleges could developeducate such qualities for a person to succeed is too narrow a beliefis a too narrow belief.
To begin with, individual personalities and characters are the primary factors in potential achievementinitial keys to potential achievements, as the road to success is full of thorns, requiring the person to be equipped with optimismprepared for optimism, calmness, and perseverance to overcome obstaclesstrike the hedge and step forward to the setestablished goals. These characters, in fact, are formed through influences fromformed based on the influences from families, schools, and wider societies during the self-development process, which cannot be learnt at once or in any single place.
The second key is a strong knowledge baseis knowledge base. Knowledge is widely regarded as one of the most powerful assetscompetences for a person to make a difference, but knowledge and informationknowledge and information storage is built and developed cumulativelyin accumulation, starting from antenatal training, then progressing to babblingthen to babbling, and moving on to receiving basic educationeducations at primary and secondary schools. In other words, learning knowledge needs a solid foundation. Without the foundation in placepaved footstone, university and academic study would be as unrealistic as a castle in the air.
Further, the sense of being collaborative plays an indispensable role. Only when an individual learns and knows how to effectively interact and coordinateinteracts and coordinates with others while growing upat growth can he or she acquire parents’ support, teachers’ guidance, and friends’ cooperationcoordination---the important sources to help the person to become successful. Thus, it would be too late if a person starts learning such quality at university.
University education is the final stage of formal learning after secondary schoolings. This means, university is the place where students could further enhance and strengthen the key qualities, regardless of personal characters, knowledge system, or cooperative consciousness via more professional and well-focused instructions and assignments; rather a kindergarten for nurturing baby learners.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear, nuanced position and organizes three relevant qualities into a purposeful progression, showing that universities can strengthen attributes developed earlier. Its main limitation is the frequent use of awkward or inaccurate collocations, which makes several otherwise thoughtful points sound strained. The priority is to replace ornate phrasing with precise, natural expressions while retaining the essay’s logical development.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response advances a clear qualified agreement and develops relevant points about character, knowledge, and collaboration.
Support the abstract claims with concrete examples showing which qualities cannot be first acquired at university.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear progression through three qualities before reaching a logically consistent qualification about universities.
Shorten overloaded sentences so that each stage of the reasoning is easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide-ranging, but frequent unnatural collocations and word-choice errors reduce precision and naturalness.
Prefer direct combinations such as personal qualities, accumulated knowledge, and collaborative skills over strained figurative wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted throughout, but agreement, article, form, and punctuation errors recur despite generally clear meaning.
Check verb agreement and sentence boundaries, especially in long clauses and the final paragraph.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think the qualities a person needs to become successful in today’s world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.