In many countries, people increasingly talk about money such as how much they earn or how much they pay for things in their daily conversations. Why? Is this a positive or negative trend?
Sample Response
It has become increasingly commonpervasive in recent years for individuals to discuss money matters dailyon a daily basis. In my opinion, this is due to changes in what individuals consider polite and is a decidedly negative trend on the whole.
The reason people now talk about money is that it is socially acceptable. In past generations, discussing money was considered “in poor taste” and most people were reserved in order not to appearin order to not appear arrogant or desperate. Today, many social norms from the past have disappeared and this includes ones related to the discussion of one’s finances. This allows peopleThis enables the average person to discuss money with friends and family as a way of coping with anxieties about the future or insecurities about their own status in society. For instance, it is common for some wealthy individuals to show off by talking about their investments, property, and so on to impress friends and elevate their own self-esteem.
Discussing money is a negative trend overallis overall a negative trend as it exacerbates an unhealthy mindset. There are situations where it can be positive, such as when discussing potential investments and helping friends. These contexts are exceptionsThese contexts are the exceptions, however, as most people simply talk about money to relieve their own anxiety or to bragto relieve their own nervousness or as a form of bragging. Once a person becomes addicted to the minor dopamine bursts that accompany indulging in self-pity or self-aggrandizementseeking self-pity or self-aggrandizement, they will have a difficult time transitioning to more productive and engagingfun topics of conversation. Over time, a person may ironically increase their anxieties and insecurities by seeking to cope with them.
In conclusion, people talk about their finances as it is no longer considered rude and it is an unhealthy habit. It is better to talk abouttalk about to more important topics.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a direct answer to both questions, sustains a clear negative position, and develops it through a sophisticated, coherent line of reasoning. The main limitation is that several causal claims about anxiety, status, and dopamine are broad and insufficiently substantiated. The highest-priority improvement is to support these claims with a more concrete example or measured explanation while preserving the essay's strong focus and control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are fully addressed through a clear position and well-developed, relevant reasoning.
Qualify the broad psychological claims and support them with a concrete, credible example to strengthen the argument further.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses smoothly through focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reasoning without distracting from it.
Make the link between social acceptability and the later discussion of insecurity slightly more explicit.
Lexical Resource
A wide and flexible vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas precisely, with only rare awkward or imprecise combinations.
Use more measured alternatives for expressions such as addicted to minor dopamine bursts when evidence is not established.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are varied and handled with strong control, apart from a rare error in the final sentence.
Complete a final proofreading pass to remove isolated slips such as talk about to more important topics.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, people increasingly talk about money such as how much they earn or how much they pay for things in their daily conversations. Why? Is this a positive or negative trend?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.