Students who go directly from school to university benefit less from and contribute less to their courses than those who take a job or travel in order to get more experience in ‘real world’ before they start higher education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Sample Response
It is believed that young people who directly continue their studiesstudy in an undergraduate course gain fewer benefitsget less benefit and make fewer contributions to their program of study, compared withcompare to students who already have work experiencejob experiences or travelled to another area to gain experiences in the workplace before they continue their university studies. With regard to the statement, I personally agree with it and the following essay will discuss this in detaildiscuss in details.
Some high school graduates choose to enter the university directly after they have finished their secondary school studies, and it is believed that they have some weak points. As they lack real-world experiencethe real-world experiences, they prefer not to respond activelyactively responses to their tutors' lecturesto the tutor's lecture. Most of them would accept all of the lecturers' discussions, though tutors could mislead with their presentations. Besides that, although these students might get good academic results, thisit would not guarantee that they would perform well in their workplaces. They only knowknew about the theories underlyingtheories that underlie behind their field of study, whereas in the real world, sometimes theory contradicts practicethe theory contradict to the practice.
On the other hand, there are students who travelled for several yearstook several years trip to another place to gain cultural experiences or take some jobs to gain work experienceget work experiences, before they continue their undergraduate studies. Many people think that these valuable experiences will positively affect their further studieswill be positively impacted to their further studies. As they have gained real world experiences in their life, they could give feedback, respond and share their experiencessome feedbacks, responses and shares their experiences in the classroom, which would make the classroom atmosphere lively and positivewhich would make the atmosphere of the class, would be alive and positive. Besides that, during their studiesstudy, they could also learn how to integrate and connect the theory with their previous work experiences.
In conclusion, high school graduates have their own choices after they have finished high school. Some of them prefer to continue to the university study, while others choose to work for several years or take a trip to another area before they continue their higher study. In my opinion, I do believe that students who have had real world experiences makegive more significant contributions to their class and gain more benefits from their studiesget more benefits from the study, than those who directly continue their further study.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay maintains a clear agreement and develops a relevant contrast between theoretically prepared school-leavers and students with practical or cultural experience. Its main limitation is overgeneralisation, particularly the claim that direct entrants are passive or easily misled, while frequent grammatical and lexical errors reduce clarity. Prioritise balanced, evidence-based comparisons and one concrete example of experience improving classroom contribution.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and supported by relevant arguments about participation and connecting theory with practice, though several claims are broad and insufficiently evidenced.
Use a specific example showing how work or travel experience improves a university discussion while acknowledging a strength of direct entry.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and comparison between the two student groups are logical, but some sentences contain repetitive or unclear internal links.
Give each body paragraph one central claim and follow it with a concise explanation and example before moving to the comparison.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate topic vocabulary, but frequent word-form, countability, and collocation errors substantially limit precision.
Use accurate phrases such as 'work experience', 'respond actively', 'apply theory in practice', 'offer feedback', and 'contribute to class'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are frequently attempted, but errors in tense, agreement, verb patterns, articles, and relative clauses recur throughout.
Simplify overloaded sentences and proofread forms such as 'compared with', 'respond', 'theory contradicts practice', and 'experiences positively affect study'.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Students who go directly from school to university benefit less from and contribute less to their courses than those who take a job or travel in order to get more experience in ‘real world’ before they start higher education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.