What distinguishes young people from their parents' or grandparents' generation is a lack of physical exercise. Today's generation are spending far too long playing computer games, chatting aimlessly on social networking sites or simply watching TV, and too little time being active. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Sample Response

1

Young people today are often reprimanded by their parents for leading a sedentary lifestyleliving a passive lifestyle. In my country, for example, young children in particular are criticized for spending too long interacting with technology rather than playing sports outdoorsrather than being outside playing sports, climbing trees and doing all the other activities their parents claim they enjoyed as children. To what extent are these comments deserved? On the surface, they would appear justified. There is a whole industry that encourages children to lead a sedentary lifestyle, for example sitting in front of a PC or games console. Dedicated satellite or cable TV channels for young people offer the chance to sit idly watching one programme after anotherone programme after the next, often repeats of something that was on the day or week before. However, it can also be argued that young people are adapting to the society they live in, a society completely different froma completely different place to the world their parents grew up in. Firstly, the roads today are far busier than they were in the past, which makes it very difficult for children to play outside. Secondly, children are often prevented from going outsiderestricted from being outside by parents who have become overly concerned about dangers they imagine exist outside their four walls. Finally, it has to be said that many parents use the technology they complain about to keepuse the technology they complain about as a way of keeping young children occupied. I think children today are less active and that thisit is something we should be concerned about. However, it is wrong to blame technologyput the blame on technology. Children should be given more encouragement to take up sportsencouraged more to take up sports at school and parents should be more willing to support their children in exploring the outside world.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 8.0

The response presents a thoughtful, clearly sustained position and supports it with relevant explanations about technology, road safety, parental concern, and adult choices. Its main limitation is that the essay appears as one continuous block, which obscures an otherwise strong argumentative progression. The highest-priority improvement is to divide the discussion into purposeful paragraphs that separate the apparent problem, underlying causes, and conclusion.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

8.0
Scoring rule

The response directly answers the question with a nuanced position and develops both the apparent role of technology and the wider social causes of inactivity.

Next step

Strengthen the argument further by explaining more explicitly how the proposed school and parental actions would address the causes identified.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.5
Scoring rule

Ideas progress logically from the common criticism to counterarguments and a qualified conclusion, with cohesive links guiding the reader effectively.

Next step

Use distinct introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs so that each stage of the reasoning has a visibly clear central focus.

LR

Lexical Resource

8.0
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is varied, precise, and natural, with effective choices such as “sedentary lifestyle,” “overly concerned,” and “keeping young children occupied.”

Next step

Refine a few comparatively general expressions by choosing more exact wording for the claimed differences between present and past childhoods.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

8.0
Scoring rule

A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and fluently, with errors rare and meaning consistently clear.

Next step

Continue refining comparison structures and sentence rhythm so that the densest sentences remain as polished as the rest of the response.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

What distinguishes young people from their parents' or grandparents' generation is a lack of physical exercise. Today's generation are spending far too long playing computer games, chatting aimlessly on social networking sites or simply watching TV, and too little time being active. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your response

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