The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010.
Sample Response
The pie chart illustrates how the regular spending in 6 different faces in a country. Percentages wise in the year of 1950 and 2010.
Overall, atOverall at the beginning of the period transportation and health care accounted for the smallest sharesare the least. HousingWhile housing was the most significant. In comparison, at the end of the period, food and housing were the largest categoriesfood and housing became the largest, and health care and education had the smallest shareshealth care and education’s lowest appearance was made.
The share of expendituremidpoint of expenses in housing was nearly three quarters2 half quarters in 1950 and it dropped dramaticallythat was dramatically dropped toby 22% in 2010. In 1950 the other and transport are in the slight made of (3.4 %and 4.4% respectively) and it rose to 19.2%and 14.0% in 2010.
In the year of 1950, food wasthe education was 11.2%about less than a fifth and rose tothat gradually went up to constant of 34.0%.MeanwhileIn contrast, education and health carethe education and health care were 6.6% and 2.4%, respectively;are 6.6%and 2.4% both changed only slightlythey are having only a few of changes and both remained below 10% in 2010with less than one-tenth in 2010.
Why this response received Band 4.5
The response identifies the dominant categories in each year and includes several correct figures, so the broad direction of change is partly apparent. However, category labels and values are repeatedly confused, while frequent fragments and malformed phrases obscure comparisons. The highest priority is to verify each category against the chart, then express each change in complete, grammatically controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview captures some major features, but housing's fall is misstated, other and transportation figures are confused, and education is incorrectly linked to 34.0%.
Create an accurate category-by-category comparison, stating that housing fell from 72.1% to 22.0% while food rose from 11.2% to 34.0%.
Coherence and Cohesion
Basic paragraphing is visible, but sentence fragments, unclear references, and contradictory category descriptions weaken progression.
Organise the details into one paragraph for the largest changes and one for the remaining categories, using explicit category names throughout.
Lexical Resource
Some relevant expenditure vocabulary is attempted, but frequent inappropriate expressions such as different faces, midpoint of expenses, and slight made impede precision.
Use a small set of accurate chart phrases, including accounted for, rose to, fell to, and remained broadly stable.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in sentence formation, agreement, tense, articles, and punctuation make several statements difficult to interpret.
Write complete subject-verb sentences and check agreement and spacing before adding complex comparisons.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.