The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
Sample Response
The pie charts overall information about the shift in yearly expenditure at a certain UK schools in the three deferent years: 1981, 1991, and 2001. Overall, the proportions of educators’ paycheck was the highest amount spent in the mentioned years compared to other expenditure areas. Meanwhile, insurance had the lowest contribution in term of money spending.
To begin with, the figure of educators’ salaries was exactly 40% in 1981. Ten years later, it increased to a half of total expenditure. However, in 2001, there was a tiny decrease in spending in the same categorised to 45%.
Furthermore, other employees’ salaries also showed huge proportion on budgeting after educators’ salaries. This area slightly declined in the observed years from 28% in 1981, 22% in 1991 and just 15% in 2001.
There was, however, a field which improved gradually in annual expenditure. It was insurance which continually rose. The percentages were 2 %, 3% and 8% respectively from 1981, 1991 and 2001. The high improvement was shown between 1991 to 2001 which increased by 5 %. Yet, insurance was still the bottom in money spending than other areas.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add reporting verb Original: overall Suggested revision: provide Why it matters: The opening clause needs a finite verb.
- 2. Fix number agreement Original: schools Suggested revision: school Why it matters: The singular article requires a singular noun.
- 3. Correct spelling Original: deferent Suggested revision: different Why it matters: The adjective is misspelled.
- 4. Fix category phrase Original: proportions of educators’ paycheck was Suggested revision: proportion spent on teachers' salaries was Why it matters: This corrects agreement and names the chart category accurately.
- 5. Refer precisely Original: in the mentioned years Suggested revision: in all three years Why it matters: This refers directly to the three chart years.
- 6. Use precise comparison Original: lowest contribution in term of money spending Suggested revision: smallest share of expenditure Why it matters: The original phrase is unnatural and imprecise.
- 7. Name the measure Original: figure of educators’ salaries Suggested revision: proportion spent on teachers' salaries Why it matters: The charts show spending proportions.
- 8. Fix determiner Original: a half of total expenditure Suggested revision: half of the total expenditure Why it matters: The noun phrase requires the before total expenditure.
- 9. Use academic wording Original: tiny Suggested revision: slight Why it matters: Slight is the conventional term for a small change.
- 10. Fix word form Original: categorised Suggested revision: category Why it matters: Categorised is not a noun.
- 11. Use accurate wording Original: huge proportion on budgeting Suggested revision: large share of the budget Why it matters: This is the natural collocation for expenditure.
- 12. Complete the range Original: from 28% in 1981, 22% in 1991 and just 15% in 2001 Suggested revision: from 28% in 1981 to 22% in 1991 and just 15% in 2001 Why it matters: A declining sequence needs from and to.
Suggested Rewrites
- overall provide
- schools school
- deferent different
- proportions of educators’ paycheck was proportion spent on teachers' salaries was
- in the mentioned years in all three years
- lowest contribution in term of money spending smallest share of expenditure
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report gives a clear overview of the largest and smallest spending categories and accurately tracks teachers' salaries, other workers' salaries, and insurance. Its main limitation is incomplete coverage: books and furniture and equipment are entirely omitted, so important contrasting changes are missing. The highest priority is to compare all five categories, especially the fall in books and the rebound in furniture and equipment.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and figures for three categories are accurate, but omitting resources and furniture and equipment leaves two major trends unreported.
Include all five categories and highlight the contrasting fall in resources and rise of furniture and equipment to 23% in 2001.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report uses clear paragraphing and a logical category-by-category sequence, though some paragraphs are narrowly focused and comparisons are limited.
Organise the details into two comparative groups so related rises and falls can be presented together rather than as isolated categories.
Lexical Resource
The response uses some appropriate spending and trend vocabulary, but frequent imprecise collocations and word-form errors reduce clarity.
Replace phrases such as huge proportion on budgeting and bottom in money spending with precise comparative language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The meaning is generally clear and several complex structures are attempted, but agreement, article, preposition, and sentence-formation errors recur.
Check each sentence for a complete verb phrase and accurate agreement, especially in the introduction and comparative statements.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.