The chart below shows the number of travellers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000.
Sample Response
The bar chart gives information about how many people usedvisited New York City through three major airports over a six-year periodairports, over a six-year period between 1995 and 2000. Overall, it can be seen that over the period, there was a fluctuatingfluctuant trend in the number of passengers who travelled via John F. Kennedy Airportairport, while the other two airports saw an upward trend. Another interesting point is that LaGuardia Airportairport was the most popular at the end. Looking at the figuresdetail, the number of travellers at John F. Kennedy airport started at 26m in 1995, and then rose sharplyincreased remarkably to reach a peak of 47 millionthe highest point of 47m in 1997. In 1999, the figure dipped to 32m. In the final yearAt the last year, there was a substantial increaseslight growth to 45 million44m. On the other hand, LaGuardia began at 35m in 1995, after that it rose remarkably for the next three years, at 46m. In 2000, LaGuardia peakedhit the peak point at 68 million travellers68m travellers. Meanwhile, Newark AirportHowever, if we look at Newark airport, it started at the lowest point of 16m passengers in the first year. After this point, the numbertrend increased significantly to 42m in 1998. In the last two years it remained stable at 42m travellers.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear overview and accurately reports the main movements and several key figures for all three airports. Its main limitation is that comparisons are somewhat limited and some intermediate data are omitted, while recurring awkward expressions reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to group and compare the three series more directly, using natural trend language and complete sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main trends, starting and ending positions, and important peaks are accurately covered, but several intermediate movements and direct comparisons are omitted.
Add concise cross-airport comparisons at key points, especially around 1997 to 1999, rather than describing each series mainly in isolation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overview and airport-by-airport sequence are easy to follow, though some linking phrases are mechanical and the single paragraph weakens grouping.
Use separate overview and detail paragraphs, grouping the two steadily rising airports together and contrasting them with the fluctuating series.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for trends and quantities, but inaccurate or unnatural choices such as fluctuant and the trend increased recur.
Use established chart collocations such as fluctuated, rose steadily, reached a peak, and remained stable.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms communicates the data clearly, although comma splices, awkward prepositions, and incomplete comparison structures occur repeatedly.
Revise sentence boundaries and time expressions, replacing forms such as at the last year with in the final year.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the number of travellers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.