The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Sample Response
The yielded diagram demonstrates how sugar makes from sugar cane.
Overall, it can be seen that the sugar process has several stages from growing sugar cane to make juice, evaporator, and cooling.
In the first stage, growingmaking sugar cane is the first stagewas primarily a requirement and it takestook 12 to 18 months to grow. After growing, the next stepAfter growing next step is harvesting which may be performedwhich can be done by two methods, either harvesting by handeither harvest by labour or by a harvesting machinea machine such as a tractor. In the third stage, harvested sugar caneharvested sugar is crushedcan crush in a crushing machineby machines to extract the juiceas a result is juice and particles. In the fourth stage, purifying Joice in limestone filter later stored into the container and give heat thus, juice turn into syrup, this stage also knows as an evaporator. The sixth stage uses a centrifugeThe sixth stage is centrifuge where sugar crystals are separated from the syrupdiffer from the strip. In the last stage, the separated crystals are dried and cooleddrying as well as cooling separated sugar crystals, to produce the final sugarafter we get that is sugar.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response follows the process in chronological order and mentions nearly every stage shown in the diagram. Its main limitation is frequent inaccurate or unclear wording, especially around crushing, purification, evaporation, and centrifuging, which weakens both precision and readability. The highest-priority improvement is to describe each stage in a short, grammatically complete sentence using the diagram's exact materials and outcomes.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main sequence from cultivation to drying and cooling is covered, but the overview is imprecise and several stage descriptions confuse the material or outcome.
State the seven-stage start-to-finish process clearly and accurately distinguish sugar cane, juice, syrup, crystals, and final sugar.
Coherence and Cohesion
The numbered sequence creates broadly clear progression, although the dense final paragraph and faulty linking make several transitions difficult to follow.
Divide the process into two logical detail paragraphs and give each stage one complete sentence before moving to the next.
Lexical Resource
Relevant process vocabulary is attempted, but frequent inaccurate choices such as yielded, particles, strip, and stored obscure technical relationships.
Use the diagram's precise verbs and nouns, including crush, filter, evaporate, syrup, centrifuge, crystals, dry, and cool.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in passive forms, articles, agreement, clause structure, and punctuation often strain the reader's understanding.
Practise controlled passive sentences such as the cane is crushed and the juice is purified, checking that every clause has a clear subject and verb.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.