The table below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100,000 people asking if they travelled abroad and why they travelled from 1994 – 1998. The bar chart shows their destinations over the same period.
Sample Response
The table summarisesThe chart illustrates the survey conducted with travellers about the purpose of the visit when they moved abroad. There were 100,000 responsesone lakh samples collected to make a report on the travel patternsvisitor moment. The bar chart depicts the three destination regionsseveral locations where travellerscommuters visited from 1994 to 1998stayed for over four years.
Overall, it is immediately apparent from the tablechart that most travellers travelledvisit abroad for holidays, and holiday travel generally increasedthis trend has increased over the years. The fewest travellersThe least number of passengers travelled abroadvisited international trips for other reasons.
In detail, in 1994 the highest number of travellers visited abroad to spend their holidays at 15,246with a share of 15246, but this figureratio declined to 14898 after one year. Surprisingly, the number of holiday travellersthe total number of travellers who visited international countries increased to 17,896 in 1996, finally reaching 20,700 in 1998after four years. Moreover, a few segments of people travelledshifted abroad for businessfor their businesses and other reasons, accounting for 3155 and 982 respectively in 1994. Still, this value changed and surged at 3249 in businesses and 1030 for other reasons after two years. Next, in the business category, people’s interest inclined at 3957. Unfortunately, people declined a trip for different reasons at 919 in their final years.
Furthermore, in 1994 the trend of travellers visited in Western Europe country was hiked with shares at nearby 2000 and North America, another area that was least popular which had an insignificant value. Still, the total number in Western Europe increased to above 20,000 after two years and finally hits its peak at 25,000 in the final year, unfortunately – two nations were less popular over the years.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response has a recognisable overview and sensibly divides the purpose data from the destination data, with several holiday and business figures reported correctly. Its main limitation is incomplete and sometimes inaccurate coverage, especially the omission of visits to friends and relatives and the claim that Western Europe began near 2,000 rather than about 19,000. The highest-priority improvement is to select accurate figures for every major category and compare the dominant trends clearly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies holidays as the leading purpose and notes growth, but it omits a whole purpose category and gives a major inaccurate destination figure.
Include visits to friends and relatives, summarise the total rise, and report Western Europe at about 19,000 in 1994 before comparing it with the other destinations.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, overview, and two detail sections provide a visible structure, although progression within paragraphs is weakened by unclear references and misused connectors.
Group figures by consistent trends and ensure words such as still, surprisingly, and unfortunately express a real logical relationship.
Lexical Resource
Some appropriate reporting vocabulary is attempted, but frequent collocational errors such as visitor moment, commuters stayed, and interest inclined reduce clarity and precision.
Use a smaller set of accurate data-description phrases, including travelled abroad, rose to, fell to, and accounted for.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex sentences, but agreement, tense, article, preposition, and clause-structure errors recur and sometimes obscure comparisons.
Build shorter complete clauses with consistent past tense and check subject-verb agreement before combining them into complex sentences.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100,000 people asking if they travelled abroad and why they travelled from 1994 – 1998. The bar chart shows their destinations over the same period.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.