The chart below shows the relative percentage of different types of cheese production in the USA.

Same questionCompare 2 different answers (Band 6.5)

Sample Response

1

The pie chart shows cheese production shares in the US market by different types of cheesedifferent manufacturers. Overall, two leading types of cheesetwo prominent brands dominate almost two-thirdsthird of the US cheese production and one of these two isin an Italian cheesecompany. As can be seen in the pie chart, Cheddar cheese is the most widely produced cheesesingle most produced cheese in America accounting for overwith its relative share over one-third of the total. This is closely followed by the Italian cheese mozzarellaan Italian manufacturer, Mozzarella, whose relative production share is just over 30%. Other Italian and Swiss cheesesOther Italian and Swiss cheese producers are present in the US cheese productionmanufacturing but their combined production sharetheir cheese making share is not significant. They produce around one-tenth of the total cheese. The smallest shareThe least percentage of cheese is produced by Swiss cheeseSwizz companies. A comparable share of cheese productionA similar percentage of cheese making, 8.8% to be precise, is accounted for byis controlled by other American brands. The remaining manufacturers, marked as ‘all others’, account for around 13% of cheese productionproduce around 13% cheese in the US market. In short, Cheddar accounts for the largest share of cheese productionCheddar produces the highest percentage of cheese in the US market followed by the Italian cheese mozzarellaan Italian brand – Mozzarella.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response gives a clear overview and accurately identifies Cheddar and Mozzarella as the two dominant categories, with most of the remaining proportions also reported appropriately. Its main limitation is imprecise interpretation of the categories as companies or manufacturers, alongside several awkward grammatical constructions. The highest priority is to describe each cheese category precisely and proofread comparative and percentage expressions for grammatical accuracy.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

7.0
Scoring rule

The main proportions and ranking are accurately selected, but several cheese categories are misleadingly described as brands, companies, or manufacturers.

Next step

Refer consistently to cheese types and support the overview with exact figures for the two dominant categories.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The information progresses logically from the largest shares to smaller categories, though the single-paragraph presentation and repeated concluding point weaken organisation.

Next step

Separate the overview from the detailed comparisons and avoid restating the same ranking at the end.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.5
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is adequate for reporting proportions, but expressions such as cheese making share and Swizz companies are imprecise or incorrect.

Next step

Use accurate chart language such as category, accounted for, and proportion, and check spelling carefully.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

A mix of sentence structures conveys the meaning, but recurring errors with agreement, articles, fractions, and clause construction reduce control.

Next step

Proofread complex sentences for complete verb structures and forms such as two-thirds and an Italian category.

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The chart below shows the relative percentage of different types of cheese production in the USA.

Your response

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