The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web.
Sample Response
The line graph shows the numberamount of visits received by two music websites, Music Choice and Pop Parade, over a 15-day periodin a period of 15 days. Overall, it is clear that the most visited website is Pop Parade, but on a few days, Music Choice attracted more visitsfor few days the trend was switched. Turning to the detailsGoing to detail, Pop Parade visits onat day 1 stood at 120,000accounted as 120k, three times the figure for Music Choice (40,000)much higher than Music Choice, with only a third of the visits (40k). OnAt day 3, Pop Parade was close to 120,000 visitsregistered a steady decline in visits, and still attracted more visitors than Music Choicebut still more than the ones received by Music Choice, which reached a temporary high of 60,000 visitsa peak of 60k visits. Pop Parade continued its erratic decrease until day 11, when a sharp growth reached more than 140k visits; in the same period, visits for Music Choice fluctuated between 20k and 40k views. After day 11, Pop Parade’s popularity fell to about 90,000 visits on day 12 and 80,000 on day 13fell to 80k visits for two days, whereas Music Choice becameresulted to be the more popular websitethe most favourite website. Finally, from day 13 to day 15, Music Choice rose to about 125,000 visits on day 14 before falling to nearly 70,000 on day 15Music Choice plunged to reach nearly 70k views; on the contrary, Pop ParadeCharts suddenly rose to reach just over 160k visits, then increasing slightly on day 15continuing a constant increase at day 15.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response follows the main chronology clearly and uses varied trend language, while identifying Pop Parade as generally more popular and noting the temporary reversal. Its main limitation is inaccurate or blurred reporting of several points, especially around days 3 and 11–14, alongside recurring awkward collocations. Prioritise checking each turning point against the graph and expressing comparisons with more natural, precise phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies the dominant site and temporary reversal, but several values and movements are reported inaccurately or imprecisely.
Check every stated turning point against the graph, especially the patterns from days 3–11 and 12–15.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, overview, and chronological account create generally clear progression despite some crowded sequencing in the detail paragraph.
Group the early and late periods into separate detail paragraphs and use time references that mark each change unambiguously.
Lexical Resource
A useful range of trend vocabulary is evident, although recurrent collocation errors reduce precision and naturalness.
Use standard combinations such as number of visits, stood at, overtook, and fell to when describing the lines.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence structures, but errors in articles, prepositions, and verb constructions recur throughout.
Review complex comparison sentences for correct articles, prepositions, and verb patterns before finalising the report.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.