The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web.
Sample Response
The line graph compares visitors to two music websites that had recently been launchedwhich were recently launched online. The number of website visitors fluctuated, but after day 11, both sites received more visitors.
According to the graphdiagram, the Pop Parade websitethe pop parade music website received 120,000 visitswas visited by 120 thousand people on the first day, whereas Music Choice receivedmusic choice got 40 thousand visitorsbrowsers on the same day. During the first week, the pop parade’s visitor count showed an overall downward trend, and on day seven, both sites received roughly 20 thousand visitors.
However, the total number of visits to Pop Parade in the first weekoverall visitors in the first week to the pop parade were significantly greater than that to Music Choicethat of music choice. Interestingly, visitors to the pop parade site overwhelmingly increased after day nine and witnessed a significant increase in the number of visitors on day 11, with around 150 thousand users. On this day, the other siteside receivedwas browsed by just over 20,000 visitsonly over 20 thousand people. After a sharp decline on days 12 and 13With a sharp dip on days 12 and 13, visits to Pop Paradethe pop parade’s visitors rose towent as high as 170 thousand on day 15. Music choice, on the contrary, recorded its highest visitor numbersaccumulated the highest hits on days 12 and 14, around 120 thousand a day.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is well organised and describes most major movements and peak values with generally clear, varied language. The main weakness is an overview that says only that figures fluctuated and rose after day 11, without clearly contrasting Pop Parade's late surge with Music Choice's sharp rise and later fall. Prioritise a more specific overview and verify approximate values such as the day-seven figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Most key peaks and movements are selected accurately, but the overview is vague and the claim that both sites had roughly 20,000 visits on day seven is inaccurate.
Summarise the contrasting late patterns clearly and check approximate values against the graph before reporting them.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organised into a clear chronological account with effective progression and generally appropriate linking.
Make the overview-to-detail structure sharper by placing the two principal comparative trends together before the daily evidence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and usually effective, although choices such as 'browsers,' 'overwhelmingly increased,' and 'the other side' are awkward or imprecise.
Prefer precise graph language such as 'visits,' 'rose sharply,' and the website's actual name.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence structures with good overall control, and the few errors do not impede communication.
Refine comparison structures, particularly by comparing visitor numbers directly rather than using unclear substitutes such as 'that of.'
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.