You want to start your own small business. Write a letter to a bank requesting information about obtaining a business loan to finance your new company. In your letter include the following information: - what kind of business do you want to start - how much money do you need - the length of time over which you would expect to repay the money
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you to make a request to assist me in providing a loan for setting up a small business.
Let me inform you that I have been looking to starthad been looking for running a new business. Now, I havegot an opportunity, and after extensivecontinuous research, I found that I have decided to openI had better run a Cafe as there is an undeveloped area near my neighbourhoodtotal wilderness near my locality. So, running a cafe at such a place would attract customersallure people to visit itenjoy its services. Besides, natural vegetation will act as an advantage for the caféa piece of cake for a cafe.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response establishes a formal loan request and identifies the proposed café, giving the reader a basic sense of the business idea. However, it is substantially under length, omits both the amount required and the repayment period, and ends before completing the letter; several expressions are also confusing. The highest priority is to cover every bullet point explicitly and finish the correspondence with a clear information request and closing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The café idea is introduced, but two required bullet points are entirely missing and the letter is seriously under length and incomplete.
State the exact loan amount and proposed repayment period, then ask about terms and eligibility before adding a formal closing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The opening and business description have a basic progression, but the response stops after one body paragraph and some ideas connect unclearly.
Organise one focused paragraph around each requested detail and conclude with a direct request for the bank's response.
Lexical Resource
There is some attempt at varied vocabulary, but phrases such as looking for running, total wilderness, and act as a piece of cake are inaccurate.
Choose straightforward business vocabulary and describe the location's commercial opportunity in precise, natural language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Several sentences are structurally sound, but tense choices and verb patterns are inconsistent and some complex phrasing is awkward.
Use consistent present and future forms for the proposal and correct patterns such as plan to run and would attract customers.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You want to start your own small business. Write a letter to a bank requesting information about obtaining a business loan to finance your new company. In your letter include the following information:
- what kind of business do you want to start
- how much money do you need
- the length of time over which you would expect to repay the money
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.