Some people think it is not necessary for adults to receive education in class. Self-study is a good way for them to study more effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Education is a continuous process and thirstthrust for knowledge is everlasting. Adult education is a controversial issue and some schools of thoughtsome groups of thoughts argue that adults can learn things by themselves and the conventional classroom teachingcommon mentoring technique in the school is unnecessary for them. Even though classroom learning has its own advantages, I believe self-studythe self-study is more beneficial for adults.
Obviously, ‘internal motivation and hard working’ is the core in all success stories. Therefore, a highly motivatedTherefore a highly motivated person can learn alone by utilising advanced technologythe advanced technologies. For exampleillustration, online education is a growingnewer trend and even someone working can take a certification courseattend certification course through the Internet. In addition, most companiesmost of the companies are offering continuing education as part of their working schedules. So workers can develop their knowledge in this wayimprove their knowledge by this without attending regular classroom courses. Furthermore, for an adult, it is cumbersome to return to student lifeget back to a student life in most casesin most of the cases. The advancement in technology has made it possible to learn from home and adults do not need teachers to look after their behaviourbehaviours or discipline them to study. It is a well-known fact that self-learning is the best learning and this is quite applicable to adultsapplicable for grown up people. So supporters of this view believe that for adults, classroom learningfor grown up people classroom learning is unnecessary and a waste of time.
On the other hand, some people believe that education is meaningful only through regular classroom instructioneducation is meaningful only by regular classroom mentoring. Self-motivation is sometimes ineffective and necessitates the teachers for evaluating and guiding them. Moreover, they believe that adult life is different from children because of the internal as well as the external factors affecting their learning process. For instance, adult life is complicated with a lot of responsibilities and tensions. Therefore continuous motivation by an external mentor is inevitable. Online education programs and other continuing career development programs often lack this opportunity and hence this group of people believes that classroom education is the best option for adults.
Put everything into consideration both these methods have their own advantages. However, I think that a highly motivated individual can gain knowledge by self-learning and for such adults, self-learning is a far better choice than attending formal educational institutes.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear preference for self-study while acknowledging the value of classroom guidance, and both sides receive relevant explanation. Its main limitation is that the self-study case becomes repetitive and relies on broad claims, while frequent unnatural collocations and grammar errors reduce precision. Prioritise developing one concrete comparison between an adult learner using online study and one needing teacher support, then edit articles, word forms and sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question with a consistent qualified preference for self-study and develops relevant advantages and counterarguments.
Replace broad assertions such as "self-learning is the best learning" with a specific example showing when self-study is more effective than classroom instruction.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, though the self-study paragraph is lengthy and its many linking phrases become mechanical.
Group the self-study case into two central reasons and remove repetitive connectors and repeated references to "grown up people."
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range to discuss education and motivation, but frequent awkward collocations such as "thrust for knowledge" and "groups of thoughts" reduce precision.
Use natural academic phrases such as "desire for knowledge," "some commentators," "hard work," "adult learners" and "classroom instruction."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is attempted and meaning remains clear, but article, agreement, word-form and clause errors recur throughout.
Correct forms such as "the desire for knowledge," "hard work is," "attend a certification course" and "requires teachers to evaluate and guide learners."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think it is not necessary for adults to receive education in class. Self-study is a good way for them to study more effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.