A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your locality. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory establishment?
Sample Response
Since the inception of civilisation, industrialisation has been a prerequisite for growtha paramount requirement of growth around the world. In fact, every government has enacted rulesratified certain sets of rules for establishing industries along with relevant departments to enforce compliance with the policieslook after the policies' compliance. Like any other process industrialisation too has pros and cons, and subsequently, people have been debating over the appropriateness and formulating ways to curb its repercussions over denizens.
Firstly, establishinginstitutionalising factories brings a lot of benefits tofor local communities. First of all, most industries require a large skilled workforcehuge skilled workforce and thus, this createsthese crops up a lot of exciting and rewarding employment opportunities. This has profound positive effects on the improvement in citizens' living standardsupliftment of life standards of citizens as it raises per capita incomeaccelerates the per capita income and the GDP. Apparently, successful industrialisation also spurs foreign investment. For example- the establishment of Tata Group in Jamshedpur, Jharkhand in 1909 helped the region prosperhelped the region to stride and today the region is one of the most developed regions in the country. Secondly, there are many other indirect benefits too. An industry not only createsAny industry just does not create direct job opportunities for the people who work inside the company's premises; it also creates jobspresents some jobs to people who are not qualified to work inside the company. For example, in any enterprise, we find many indirect housekeeping and canteen workers.
On the other hand, industrialisation has several potential drawbackssome minor and few potential issues too. First of all, many industries require a large piece of land and generally, it is acquired throughby deforestation or seizing fertile farmland. Also, industrial wastecompanies' waste materials are generally hazardous and pollute the neighbouring environment. This leads to diseases, allergies and sometimes even epidemics. In most of the cases, the direct employees are under the highest threat. Also, the harmful effects on local ecosystemsawry effects of local ecosystems cannot be ignored. Moreover, the risk that industrial accidents pose to local liveslife risk of industrial accidents over local lives cannot be disregarded. For example, today, every country is reeling under the side effects of Global Warming, a phenomenon whose onset is contributed to the discharge industrialisation waste into natural resources like water, air etc., which defines the rising temperature around the world and causing climate changes. Apparently, the proper treatment of industrial waste is a worldwide challenge.
In my opinion, industrialisation is necessary for growth, but it must be regulated. The proper measures must be in place to reduce the negative impacts of byproducts on the environment. This can be ensured by enacting strict laws to mandate the proper treatment of hazardous wastes before their discharge. Additionally, to tackle problems like deforestationOn the other hand, to tackle problems like deforestation, companies must plant a certain number of trees depending upon the intensity of deforestation.
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Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay gives a clear conditional endorsement of the factory and develops substantial benefits and drawbacks, supported by examples and practical regulation proposals. Its main limitation is that it often discusses industrialisation in broad national or global terms instead of keeping the local community central, while ambitious wording is frequently imprecise. The highest-priority improvement is to frame each argument around specific effects on nearby residents and express those effects in more natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The advantages, disadvantages, and a clear conditional position are all developed, although the discussion sometimes shifts from the proposed local factory to industrialisation generally.
Tie each benefit, risk, and proposed safeguard directly to the local community and its likely residents.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised into benefits, drawbacks, and a final position, with generally clear progression despite some mechanical linking and overlong development.
Use one focused main idea per paragraph and reduce repeated sequencing expressions such as 'firstly' and 'first of all'.
Lexical Resource
The writer demonstrates a wide and ambitious range, but frequent awkward collocations such as 'institutionalising factories' and 'awry effects of local ecosystems' reduce precision.
Prefer natural combinations such as 'establishing a factory', 'raise living standards', 'create jobs', and 'damage local ecosystems'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used with reasonable control, though agreement, article, reference, and clause-construction errors recur.
Revise agreement and complex clauses, especially 'this creates opportunities' and the sentence explaining industrial waste and climate change.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your locality. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory establishment?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.