In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyle of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
It has recently been suggested that children’s current eating and lifestyle habitsthe way children eat and live nowadays has led to a deterioration in their health. I entirely agree with this view and believethis view, and believe that this alarming situation has come about for several reasons. To begin with, there is athe worrying increase in the amount of processed food children eatthe amount of processed food that children are eating at home, with little fresh fruit and few vegetableswith little or none of the fresh fruit and vegetables that earlier generations ate every day. Secondly, more and more young people are choosing to eat in fast-food restaurants, which may be harmless occasionally, but not every day. What they eat there is extremely high in fat, salt and sugar, all of which can be damaging to their health. There is also a disturbing decline in the amount of exercise they get. Schools have become obsessed with exams, with the shocking result that some pupils now do no sports at all. To make matters worse, few children even get any exercisefew even get any exercise on the way to and from school, as most of them travel in their parents’ cars rather than walking or cyclinggo in their parents’ cars rather than walk or cycle. Finally, children are spending far more time at home, playing computer games, watching TV or surfing the Internet. They no longer play outside with friends or take part in challenging outdoor activities. To sum up, although none of these changes could, on its own, have caused widespread harm to children’s health, there can be little doubt that their combined effect has hadall of them together have had a devastating effect. This trend can, in my opinion, only be reversedThis, in my opinion, can only be reversed by encouraging children to return to moremove traditional ways of eating and living.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, consistent position, supported by a well-controlled sequence of relevant dietary and lifestyle causes. Its main limitation is that the discussion is presented as one continuous block and relies mostly on general claims rather than developed evidence. Prioritise dividing the argument into focused paragraphs and extending one or two causes with more specific causal explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully answers the extent question with a clear position and several relevant, logically explained causes of poorer health.
Develop one or two causes with a specific example or a fuller explanation of how the behaviour produces the stated health effect.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clear signposting, although the single-block presentation and repeated listing transitions weaken the organisation.
Separate the introduction, grouped causes, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs with a clear central focus for each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and natural across the topic, with only an isolated word-choice slip near the end.
Proofread the final version for small lexical slips and replace broad evaluative words with exact evidence where possible.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the rare error does not impede meaning.
Maintain the strong control while varying sentence openings and checking every comparative or modifier phrase during proofreading.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyle of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.