An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
People worldwide increasingly opt for plastic surgery to enhance their appearance, a trend fueled by the societal emphasis on beauty standards. However, I believe this development is negative as it can harm a person's health.
Cosmetic procedures are in high demand because people want to meet society's beauty standardsmeet society's expectations for beauty. Those with ideal facial features or body shapes may gain advantages in social and professional settingshave advantages in social and professional settings. Some professions, such as acting and working as a flight attendantacting and flight attending, place particular emphasis on physical appearanceare especially concerned with physical appearance. In recruitment for other jobsEven in other job vacancies, recruiters and HR representatives may rejecteliminate candidates who do not meet beauty standards before assessing their skills or experience. In Korea, where appearance is particularly important, people perceived as unattractiveplain-looking citizens face not only difficulties in securing jobs but also appearance-based discriminationnot only face difficulties in securing jobs but also appearance-based discrimination.
While plastic surgery can offer benefits, it also poses physical and psychological risks. Complications such as infection, scarring, and post-anaesthetic complicationspost-anesthetic issues are common. In severe cases, patients may experience facial dysmorphia, cardiovascular or respiratory complications, or even death. Patients may also become dissatisfied with the results, leading to body dysmorphicdysmorphia disorder, a mental health condition in which they become overly preoccupied with perceived flaws in their appearance. They may also suffer from depression and anxiety or become addicted to plastic surgery, all of which contribute to poor mental health.
In conclusion, the pressure to conform to beauty standards has led to the growing popularity of cosmetic surgerythe popularity of the cosmetic surgery industry. However, undergoing cosmetic proceduresindulging in plastic beauty can have a negative impact on people's health. Therefore, this trend should be monitored and controlled.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response's strongest feature is its direct coverage of both questions, with a clear negative position and detailed discussion of social pressure and health risks. Its main limitation is occasional overstatement and imprecise terminology, which slightly weakens the authority of otherwise relevant support. The highest-priority improvement is to use more carefully qualified claims and accurate terms while explaining one concrete example in greater depth.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered directly, and the causes and negative consequences are developed with relevant explanations and examples.
Qualify broad claims about discrimination and medical complications, and develop one example with more specific evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organized, with focused paragraphs, clear progression, and cohesive links that rarely draw attention to themselves.
Tighten the concluding recommendation so it follows more directly from the preceding evaluation of the trend.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, though a few expressions and technical terms are unnatural or inaccurate.
Replace phrases such as “flight attending,” “body dysmorphia disorder,” and “plastic beauty” with standard, context-appropriate wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is handled accurately, and errors are limited and do not impede communication.
Improve parallelism in constructions such as “not only face difficulties ... but also appearance-based discrimination” for fully polished control.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.