It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject. What are causes? And what will be effects on society?
Sample Response
It is true that the number of science students are becoming inadequate in different parts of the world nowadays. The essay below will analyze some explanations for this situation as well as its effectsinfluence on society.
There are two principal factors that contribute to the common disinterest in science subjects. First, those subjects are often challenging and require considerable diligencea lot of diligence as well as a great deal of patience and intelligence. The amount of researchThe number of researches that an average biologyBiology student has to conductdo is greater than that required in other subjectsis more than other subjects with a higher levelwith higher level of both difficulty and commitment, which discourages many students from choosing science as their majormajors. Second, employment opportunities in this particular field are limited and extremely competitive. Although a huge amount of time and effort is spent studying science at schoolon science study at school, there is still little chance for science graduateslittle chance for them to get a job after graduation.
Society greatly suffers from the scarcity of human resources in scientificscience fields. Apparently, as the number of science students is lowinsignificant, other majors such as business or economics become more prevalentbecome prevalent, hence creating an imbalance in the future workforcehence the imbalance in future workforce. In fact, competitiveness increased due to too many degree holders of the same expertise pushes a worrying number of graduates to the verge of unemployment. Another problem is the shortage of science professionals because there are too few qualified employeesas qualified employees are low in number. Unless more students decidedecided to study science at university, sooner or later we willwould have to face a major human resource crisis.
In conclusion, hurdles regarding some strict requirements of science subjects and employment opportunities are factored in a lot of students not choosing such subjects to study, and there are serious problems arising from this situation.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its clear organization and its coverage of both causes and social effects, with two relevant causes and several plausible consequences. Its main limitation is that some effects are asserted through imprecise or awkwardly constructed sentences, which weakens the force of the reasoning. The priority is to explain each cause-and-effect link more explicitly while editing for accurate grammar and natural collocation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are addressed with relevant causes and social consequences that receive generally clear development.
Strengthen the response by explaining more precisely how science-student shortages produce workforce imbalance and graduate unemployment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure supports clear progression, and ideas are linked logically despite some mechanical transitions.
Use fewer formulaic linking expressions and make the relationship between adjacent claims explicit within each paragraph.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently broad vocabulary conveys the main ideas, though several word choices and collocations are imprecise.
Replace awkward combinations such as references to an insignificant number of students with natural, context-specific phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but recurring agreement, article, tense, and sentence-construction errors reduce control.
Prioritize subject-verb agreement and revise overloaded causal sentences so that each clause has a clear grammatical relationship.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject. What are causes? And what will be effects on society?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.