Most people today communicate using mobile phones and computers, and this has affected their need to meet face-to-face. Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?
Sample Response
Nowadays, it is the trend to communicate using electronic devicestalk with electronic gadgets instead of meeting face-to-faceinstead of in meetings. HoweverWell, it is a big drawback. My preference is explained further with reasons and examples.
The biggest drawback of this is less social interactionless socialism. There are many ways to communicate with people, for example, with WhatsAppwhat’s the app, Instagram, Facebook, FaceTime, etc. This is the easiest and most convenient way to connect with one anotherget connected with each other. So people avoid meeting. They try to arrangefix meetings as infrequently as possibleas less as they can do. To add to that, another problem arises less manner in youngsters as they are not used to being accommodated with each other once they meet they feel hesitation. They do not share a good bond. They try to avoid meeting whenever possibleavoid as much as they can.
To add to this, another issue arises whenanother issue is if there is no internet accessno internet or lack of availability, communication is not possible. To communicatedeal with anyone online, one must have an internet connection. Without that, mobile phones and computers, as well as laptops, cannot be used for communicationare not worth any kind of conversation. Also, there is the risk of technical failurerisk of breakdown. Also, there must be electricity to use the computer and to charge a mobile phone. If all this is not available, online communication is not possible.
On the other hand, this is the easiest and fastestfast way to talk with someone who is not nearbywith each other, who is not nearby. If one is staying out of the country, they can talk to their family membershe can talk with their family members easily. Also, with the help of video calls, they can attend social functions.
To conclude this, it can be said that online communication is good, but there are many drawbacks that bring it down. And overall, this becomes a good to be face to face deal.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response presents a discernible view that the disadvantages of digital communication are greater and organizes the discussion into disadvantages followed by an advantage. However, the comparison is uneven, several ideas are repetitive or only briefly explained, and frequent language errors make parts of the argument awkward. The highest priority is to compare the two sides directly through fewer, better-developed points expressed in clear, controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both sides and indicates that disadvantages outweigh advantages, but the comparison is uneven and supporting ideas are limited or repetitive.
Develop one strong advantage and two strong disadvantages, then explicitly explain why the latter carry greater weight.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing separates the main stages of the argument, but progression is mechanical and repeated linking phrases and ideas weaken cohesion.
Use a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and remove repeated points before adding concise logical links.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for the general topic, but repetition and frequent inaccurate choices make several meanings imprecise or awkward.
Replace vague or incorrect expressions with precise topic phrases and vary repeated words only when the alternative is accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is usually recoverable, but frequent errors in sentence structure, comparison forms, agreement, and punctuation limit control.
Write shorter sentence patterns accurately and proofread each sentence for a complete clause, agreement, and correct comparative forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Most people today communicate using mobile phones and computers, and this has affected their need to meet face-to-face. Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.