Some People Believe That Jobs Provide Both Income and for a Social Life, While Others Think That Friends Should Be Made Outside of Work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
A job gives individuals an identityJob gives identity, a convenient lifestyle, and respect in societyrespect to the individuals from society. Most people considerconsidered that employmentthe employment gives name and fame and offers better wages and social statusstatus symbol. However, others contradict them by saying that friends can only make out of the workplace. Both aspects of this issue will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
First, people assert thatthe people who assert that jobs offer high salarieshandsome money and a comfortable lifecomfortable life for individuals. They support their view by saying that peopledwellers want to spend their whole liveslife in luxurious ways in this era—this desire places a heavy financial burden on ordinary peoplethis need to make overburden on the pocket of a layman. To fulfil their desiresDue to fulfilling their desires, they become money-minded, and they want to have better job opportunities in multinational companies, which provideprovided them better income and status. This increasesincrease the reputation and respect in society. Large companiesThe higher companies offer them a bonus and family packages, which leadleads to spending quality time with near and dear ones. Apart from it, employees get higher promotions and experience in companies. Moreover, the job provides them numerous facilities like health-related treatments and some household materials at affordable prices.
However, the people who claim those age mates are only made out of the workplace. They say that by giving exemplifying that when employees become familiar with others, the environment is too friendly, which could reduce the productivity rate. As a result, workers may fail to completefail in completing any tasks which are related to their business. For instance, if two individuals have better friendship bonds at the workplace, it can damage anyone’s personal life, such as leakage of getting promotions and bonuses from the company. In addition to it, there is a riskthere has been a chance of exchanging pleasantries instead of focusing on their workloadinstead of focus on workload, which may further decrease the organization’s reputation.
In conclusion, according to my perspective, every coin has two sides “pros and cons” are related to every aspect. All that is required is a logical, rational, and balanced approach towards it.
So this is the Answer of the Writing Task 2 ( Some People Believe That Jobs Provide Both Income and for a Social Life )
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response has a recognizable four-paragraph structure and offers some relevant discussion of income and the drawbacks of workplace friendships. However, it largely omits the social-life benefit of jobs and ends without a clear personal opinion, while frequent awkward wording and grammatical errors obscure several points. The highest-priority improvement is to answer each part of the prompt explicitly, then express those ideas in shorter, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response discusses income and problems with workplace friendships, but the first view is only partly addressed and the writer's opinion remains unclear.
State a definite opinion and directly explain how jobs can provide a social life as well as income.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing provides a recognizable progression, although faulty referencing and mechanical linking weaken connections within ideas.
Build each body paragraph around one explicit view and connect supporting sentences with clear logical relationships.
Lexical Resource
There is some vocabulary range, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations make several claims unnatural or unclear.
Prefer familiar, precise expressions and check collocations such as 'make friends,' 'large companies,' and 'focus on work.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, tense, and articles sometimes impede clarity.
Use shorter complete sentences first, checking that every clause has an accurate subject and finite verb.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some People Believe That Jobs Provide Both Income and for a Social Life, While Others Think That Friends Should Be Made Outside of Work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.