We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Sample Response
Most of the daily tasks an individual performsexperiences are time-consuming and laborioustime and effort consuming. These two fundamentalfundemental resourcesqualities could be substantially conservedtremendously saved by the use of computers. The average period required to prepare a decent meal for a middle-class family is around an hour to anand hour and a half when using traditional methods. This time could be reduced by halfliterally reduced to half if computerized devicesdecives are used instead. Moreover, a busy businessman can easily closeis enabled to easily close a profitable deal with a few clicks on his laptopwith just a touch on this highly programmed laptop while enjoying his family vacation and not having to make the extra effort to travel long distancesexert an extra effort of traveling long distances in order to sign a deal.
On the other hand, youngernew generations are becoming increasingly dependentare growing remarkably dependent on these modern technologiesutilities, which leaves them unablemakes them handicapped when it comes to preparing a cup of tea. FurthermoreInaddition, psychologists suggest that one of the main reasons for the increase in suicide ratessucidal rate increase is the modern electronic technologiesrecent electric inventions. This is due to the fact that humans by nature stay emotionally healthy through socializing, but due to the importance of modern technology to maintain a financially satisfying standard of life they gradually isulate themselves. As time passesAs time passes by each of these individuals gets stuck in a vicious circle of loneliness that eventually leads to suicidesuicidal attempts especially among youngsters.
In conclusion, similarly to every other invention computers have their benefits and drawbacks, I personally think it all depends upon how we use the given tools. Moderation is the key here to keep the balance and allow us to live in harmony.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear, balanced view of computer dependence and develops its benefits and social risks through extended examples. However, it largely overlooks the explicit question about future uses, so the task is only partially fulfilled, while recurring spelling and collocation errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to devote a developed paragraph to plausible future applications and connect them directly to the stated position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The discussion of benefits and risks is developed, but the required question about future computer uses is not directly answered.
Add specific future applications and explain how they support or challenge the view that dependence is beneficial.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are organised into a clear progression from benefits to drawbacks and a concluding position.
Use a dedicated paragraph for future uses so the structure visibly covers every part of the task.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary conveys some complex ideas, but frequent spelling errors and awkward collocations reduce accuracy and naturalness.
Prioritise accurate word forms and natural combinations, especially for technology, efficiency, isolation, and suicide rates.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex sentences communicates meaning clearly despite several agreement, punctuation, and phrasing errors.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement, article use, and comma boundaries before finalising the response.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.