Some people think that only the government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individuals can have a lot of influence. What is your opinion?
Sample Response
In today’s world, making substantial changes in society has always been a major concern for every nation. It is believed that these changes can be made only by the government, whereas others argue that an individual can make a difference and eventually change the society. This essay will address both sides of this argument and finally reach to a with an opinion. On the one hand, itIt is considered that the government of every nationgovernment of every nation can make important changes in society by enforcing the law and conducting awareness seminarsconducting the awareness seminars. To put this in another way, people’s safety can only be ensured if the government enforces law and order in society. For instance, according to a social experiment, safety is a crucial matter in a society which is being expected by people from the ruling administration. Moreover, the government should take effective stepsgovernment should take effective steps in order to conduct awareness seminarsconduct the awareness seminars which will help make people aware of and understandhelp people to aware and understand the seriousacute problems of a society. Thus, it is clear that government plays a vital role in improving societymaking a significant difference between a better and worse society. On the other hand, Alongside government actionDespite government aid, individuals should understand their responsibilities forthe responsibilities towards the betterment of a society. Firstly, people can change the society by actively participating in social activitiesthe social activities. For example, being social activists, they will understand and resolve the critical issues of the society which cannot be felt without being socialist. Secondly, youngsters should be encouraged to obtain higher educationattain a higher education and set an example in societyset an example in a society for others who have been discouraged in lifedemoralized in their life. Finally, a person should be helpful and kind to others and especially to those who are needy. Therefore, it has been proven that every individual has thea potential to change the society by simply encouraging and motivating themselves. In, after discussing both sides of the argumentthe both sides of an argument, in my opinion, although it should be the prime responsibility of the government in making important changes in a society, the individuals should also be maturematured and responsible in order to help society emergeemerging from worse conditions and to make it a better place.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response addresses both perspectives and reaches a relevant, qualified position, with a broadly logical progression of ideas. Its main limitation is that support remains generic or occasionally unclear, while frequent awkward collocations and grammatical errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop each main claim with a concrete, logically explained example and then edit sentences for accurate word forms, articles, and clause structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both viewpoints are addressed and the conclusion gives a relevant position, but several supporting points remain general or loosely explained.
Develop each main claim through a specific example and explicitly explain how it demonstrates governmental or individual influence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognizable two-sided sequence, although the single long paragraph and mechanical linking weaken the flow.
Separate the introduction, each viewpoint, and the conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with clearer internal progression.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss social change, but inaccurate collocations and word choices repeatedly reduce precision.
Replace awkward phrases with natural combinations and check the exact meaning and grammatical form of less familiar words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the main message, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, capitalization, and clause construction persist.
Proofread each sentence for complete clause structure, article use, subject-verb agreement, and correct adjective or verb forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that only the government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individuals can have a lot of influence. What is your opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.