Television, newspaper, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities What is your view? Discuss.
Sample Response
Mass media play a significant role in our society as they provide a wide range of informationelucidate a great deal of different information for people. Professional journalistsThe professional journalists work for various purposes to deliver the latest and the most sensational news about political, social and economic issues and of course material concerning entertainmentthe materials concerning entertainment in all its manifestationsmanifestation. In this essay, I would like to express my personal view on this issuepoint of view upon this subject.
First of all, I fully agreeI am fully agreed with the statement in the prompttitle of this essay and I consider it as the real challenge in modern society. People are using many contemporary gadgets these days which give them lots of opportunities to know the things inside out. But the most intriguing and absorbing topics for many readersthemes for ordinary people are articles in gossip columns of many newspapers and glossy magazines about movie and pop stars, their glamorous way of living and scandals on their love affairs. Television contributes to the problemcontributes the problem too, as it shows too many private detailstoo much of private and secret details of contemporary stars. The audience is preoccupied with how much moneyis disquiet over big money celebrities and other famous people earn, the clothes they wear, cars they drive and homes they live in and so on. Nowadays it is very popular to know many specific ins and outs of our favourite idols. In addition, for many teenagersIn addition for many teenagers and young adults these public people are heroes and examples to follow. They admire and fall in love with celebrities, discuss their difficulties and try to get closer to them through the internet, people subscribe tofor the personal pages of singers, film stars, TV presenters, politicians and others in popular social networks.
It seems to me that media should stop their attempts to conquer people via their powerful sources of information, encourage unnecessary involvementobtrude the unnecessary ideas of getting involved too much into public figures' personal affairs and livespublic people’s personal affairs and life. We must live our own life, thinking about our future without pretending to be someone else. There are a lot of other apparent examples in our life where media can be the far more useful source of knowledge, e.g. in education, science, medicine etc.
To sum up I would like to state that modern media make us addicted to the current trends and it is sometimes impossible to stay away from its oppressive influence. Nevertheless, it is up to us to make our own choice in everything that we watch, read, listen or dream about.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay gives a consistent view that media attention to celebrities is excessive and explains public fascination, imitation and the opportunity cost of entertainment coverage. It is organised into a recognizable argument and uses a broad vocabulary. However, several claims remain general, while frequent collocation and sentence-boundary errors reduce precision; develop the harms with concrete reasoning and edit long sentences carefully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A relevant position is maintained, but reasons and consequences are not always fully explained.
Explain specific harms such as privacy invasion, distorted priorities or unhealthy role modelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is clear, though some long sentences join loosely related ideas.
Use shorter topic-led sentences and clearer links between fascination and harm.
Lexical Resource
Range is evident, but ambitious vocabulary produces frequent inaccurate collocations.
Prefer precise familiar words over forced expressions such as obtrude ideas.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally clear despite recurring agreement, article and comma-splice errors.
Check clause boundaries, prepositions and subject-verb forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Television, newspaper, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities What is your view? Discuss.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.