People are more mobile nowadays. They seldom live in one city all their lives. Why do you think this is happening? What are the consequences of this trend?
Sample Response
MovingMobilizing from one place to another is becoming a trend for many people these days. This essay will discuss the cause of this phenomenon, and it will also explain the its impactsimpacts of it in detail.
Having to mobilize from one area to another is aimed almost exclusively by many people to have a better career opportunity in their lives. As we may be aware, certain areas, especially in the citiesurban cities, are more developed and they are generally home toit is normally occupied by many companies. Living in such places may increase people’s chanceschance to be employed, especially by a well-known company, which would enable them to climb thea career ladder faster, and as a result, they will have a better career prospectsprospect in their lives. This is evident inThis can be seen by a growing number of workers whoworkers, who tend to live in a largerbigger city as there are plenty of jobs available. For this reason,It is for this reason, many people like to be mobile in order to pursue their career path.
Moving from one place to another is not without its consequences, however. Some people may find it extremely hard to adapt to a new place due to the culturalculture differences. Sometimes, they are not used to the local customs, which can differcan be differ from their own. In Japan, for instance, people tend to work longer hours than ever before, and it may greatly impact people who have just movedthe people, who just moved into the country, as they mayare not be able to copestand with Japanese work culturethe Japanese’s working culture. Furthermore, the fact that one should be separated from their family for a long period of time is another consequence of mobilityimpact of the mobilization. These people often feel homesick as they are apartare being apart from their loved ones and can only meet them only on certain occasionson a certain occasion only.
In conclusion, while being mobile is often opted by some people due to the career-related reasons, the consequences can be detrimental as they have to adjust to the new environment and the fact that they should be apart from their families.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response has a clear structure and addresses both the reason for mobility and its consequences with relevant explanation and an illustrative example. Its main weakness is recurring grammatical and collocational inaccuracy, which makes many sentences awkward even though the message remains clear. The highest priority is to replace unnatural passive constructions and proofread agreement, verb forms, articles, and prepositions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered, with career opportunity explained as a cause and cultural adjustment and family separation developed as consequences.
Broaden the causal analysis beyond employment and make the Japan example more directly illustrate relocation-related adjustment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a logical cause-and-consequence structure with clear paragraphing, although linking is sometimes mechanical or repetitive.
Use simpler transitions and remove unnecessary commas around relative clauses so relationships between ideas read more smoothly.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient topic vocabulary, but recurring inaccurate choices such as mobilizing, culture differences, and stand with reduce precision.
Use natural collocations such as relocate, cultural differences, adapt to working culture, and live apart from one's family.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied complex structures, but frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and passive constructions remain noticeable.
Rewrite awkward passives in active form and check patterns such as can differ, are unable to cope, and have moved.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People are more mobile nowadays. They seldom live in one city all their lives. Why do you think this is happening? What are the consequences of this trend?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.