Many people say that music lesson in schools is very important for the children while others oppose this idea. They say that the time and money spent on music classes in schools are not necessary and children should focus on more important subjects like science, math and computer rather than wasting time in music lessons. Which point of view do you agree with? Why? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.
Sample Response
We are usually made to learn a wide variety of subjects in our school. We practise mathematics to develop computational skillspractice Math for computational skills and memoriseand again have to memorise past events as part of world history. Within all this, schools have made provisions for recreational activities such as musicmusical classes. However, not everyonenot every person finds such musical classes beneficial for a child.
I believe music can be an effective way to relaxexemplary form of relaxation in the midst of a competitive school environment. During my high school yearsBack during my high school days, I used to feel over-burdened by all the lessons in a day. I used to eagerlyfervently wait for my ECA classes where we were taught how to play the cello. I still remember how every chord I used to play removedplay, removed the chaos from my mind and refreshed me. Moreover, not every student in a class aspires to be a scientist or an engineer. There are always those few whothose few, who want to develop their talent throughdip their talent in the soothing tunes of music. Otherwise, we would never have had composers like Beethoven or even Myles Kennedy. So, those music classes could be a starting pointthe stepping ground for many a BarbraBarba Streisand. Many people might argue that such classes would distract a student from their homework or project work or would take up additional time that could have been better utilised for mainstream subjects. However, I remember our school used to schedule our music classes betweenspace our music classes in between major lessons with the same duration as other classeswith its duration strictly being similar to other classes. Most of my classmates used to comment on how, after our music lessons, they used to feel more invigorated or inspired to tackle their homework. So such a measure by every school could dispeldissipate such misgivings.
Hence, it can be concluded that the time and money spent on music educationspent behind music would benefit a child much more than utilising all their resources solely to mainstream subjectsonly behind mainstream subjects.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear, well-supported case for music education, using vivid personal experience, a broader point about musical talent, and a direct answer to the opposing concern about time. The main weakness is occasional over-elaborate or unnatural wording, alongside a body paragraph that carries too many stages. The best improvement is to separate the benefits into focused paragraphs and choose more precise, idiomatic expressions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is fully clear and the main benefits are relevant, extended, and supported with specific examples and a considered counterargument.
Strengthen the case further by making the link between school provision and long-term musical development more explicit.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically with effective referencing and contrast, although the long central paragraph combines several distinct ideas.
Give relaxation, talent development, and the response to the opposing view their own focused paragraphing or clearly separated stages.
Lexical Resource
A broad and often effective vocabulary conveys ideas vividly, but several over-ornate or inaccurate collocations sound unnatural.
Prefer idiomatic phrases such as develop musical talent, provide a foundation, and money spent on music education.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences are generally well controlled, with occasional punctuation, reference, and structural errors that do not impede meaning.
Edit unnecessary commas and check that pronouns and possessives refer consistently to singular or plural nouns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people say that music lesson in schools is very important for the children while others oppose this idea. They say that the time and money spent on music classes in schools are not necessary and children should focus on more important subjects like science, math and computer rather than wasting time in music lessons. Which point of view do you agree with? Why? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.