Organized tours to remote community and other countries are increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for local people and the local environment?
Sample Response
It is true that tours to remote and exotic places around the worldon the earth have gained popularity in recent years. While this has several benefits for the local community, I believe that overall the negative consequences are more significant.
Admittedly, the growth of the tourism industry has brought substantialenormous benefits to local people. More tourists mean greater demand for food, accommodation, and services, all of which increase employment and alleviate unemploymentcreate job opportunities and a lleviate unemployment in the area. The development of tourism also has ripple effects onlocal infrastructure, with more roads and bridges being built to meet tourists’ needs. This can be seen in a coastal city that is also a tourist destinationthe case of ABC, a coastal city, and also a tourist destination in [your country].
The biggest disadvantage of the trend is, however, its adverse effects on the pristine environment and wildlifecreatures living there. Forests may be cut down to make way for resorts and hotels; marine life might be threatened due to water pollution, and birds have to find other places to liveinhabit. In some places, waste from the hotel industry is becoming an environmental problem that concerns many people, not just environmentalists. Another drawback is that increased tourism may underminebreak social cohesion in the local community. Many people make a living by providing services for travelers and become rich while many others remain poor and struggle for the next meal. This wealth gap is gradually widening and has detrimental effects on social bonds and shared valuesdetrimental impacts on the bond and the shared values of local residentsindigenous individuals.
In conclusion, although the growth of tourism to remote areas and foreignexotic countries is beneficial to some extent, it is more likely to have harmful impacts on local people and the environment.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear position and develops relevant benefits and drawbacks for both residents and the environment, with particularly effective explanation of environmental harm. Its main limitation is that some support remains generic or unfinished, especially the placeholder example and the broad claim about social division. Replace that example with a specific, fully explained case and tighten a few awkward word choices and spacing errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both local people and the environment, maintains a clear negative judgement, and develops several relevant consequences.
Use a concrete, completed example and explain more precisely how tourism causes the stated wealth gap.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, contrasting body sections, and a consistent conclusion, with generally effective linking.
Divide the long disadvantages paragraph or sharpen its internal transitions so the shift from environmental to social effects is easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
A broad and often precise vocabulary conveys economic, environmental, and social effects effectively, despite several spelling and collocation lapses.
Proofread forms such as "alleviate" and "on local" and replace awkward phrases such as "the bond" with more natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence structures is used with strong control, and the few errors do not impede meaning.
Refine punctuation and article use in longer sentences to make otherwise accurate structures consistently polished.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Organized tours to remote community and other countries are increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for local people and the local environment?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.