Some people think that family life and parents have great influences on children’s development, while others consider that external influences play a more important role in children’s life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Parental and family influences are highly important toInfluences of parents and family have great importance to the development of a child, in the view of many, while othersaccording to many, while others opine that children's behaviour is influenced more by external factors such asoutside factors like friends, teachers and the environment. This essay will discuss both views, but, in my opinion, influences of parents, and family life are essential for the proper growth of a child, but environmental and external influences are more useful for them to confront life ad become successful. To begincommence with, parents have majorextraordinary impacts on their children's growth, especially in shapingespecially to shape a good childhood. Family connection, relationships, responsibility and punctualityThe sense of family, relationship, responsibility, and punctuality are instilled in a child by parents and they play an influential roleand it plays an influential role in their maturity. Love and attention from parents help develop a strong character in a childdevelop a strong character in a child while a lack of proper parenting often undermines that developmentthe lack of proper parenting often ruins it, according to many psychologists. Furthermore, children often imitate their parentschildren mostly mimic their parents and become more like them. Undoubtedly, this observationthis single fact proves how important it is for a child to have a family and good parenting. Conversely, to become successful and face life, we need to study in a school, interact with teachers and neighbours, have friends, face challenges, learn from our environment, gain social experiences, and all those factors have crucial roles to play in a child’s life. Parents keep their offspring safe from dangers while their real-life experiences teach them how to deal with those obstacles. Outside the home, children encounter different situations that teach them how to solve their own problems. Furthermore, children learn invaluable skills at school thatinvaluable skills in schools which help them develop a sense of community needed for life beyondto have a normal life beyond their family circleborders. To conclude, while parents have a majorhuge impact on children’s attitudesattitude and growth, social interactions and external factors are imperative and cannot be ignored infor a child's overall development, and are, in my opinion, more importantand in my opinion, more important.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response discusses both sources of influence and maintains a clear preference for external factors, with logically sequenced explanations of how family and wider experience shape children. Its main limitation is that support remains fairly general and some awkward wording or referencing reduces precision. The highest priority is to deepen the comparison with a specific example while refining collocations and pronoun agreement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and a clear opinion is maintained, with relevant explanations of parental guidance and learning through external experience.
Strengthen the evaluation by using a specific example to show why external influences ultimately outweigh parental influence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The discussion follows a clear introduction, contrasting development, and conclusion, with cohesive devices generally supporting logical progression.
Make the comparison more integrated by explicitly linking the limits of parental protection to the benefits of outside experience.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate, including precise language about development, responsibility, social experience, and community.
Refine occasional unnatural collocations such as language about confronting life, shaping childhood, and family boundaries.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a good range of complex structures with generally strong control, although occasional agreement, punctuation, and reference errors occur.
Review long sentences for clean clause coordination and ensure pronouns agree clearly with the nouns they refer to.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that family life and parents have great influences on children’s development, while others consider that external influences play a more important role in children’s life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.