Some feel that the effects of advertising are positive for individuals and businesses, while others think they are negative. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
As advertising becomes increasingly invasive, there has been more debatean increase in debates concerning its effects. In my opinion, advertising is negative overallon the whole a negative due to its impact on the average individual, though it is clearly beneficial for businesses.
It is hard to argue against the boonpositive boon that advertising has brought to a variety of industries. In the 1950s and 60s, the growth of American advertising in particular ushered in an age of rampant commercial opportunity. Corporations ranging from automobileautomoblie manufacturers to airlines to soft drink companies took advantage of the emerging medium of television to reach wider audiences. By appealing to basic human psychology, they were able to tap into a nearly limitless market that eventually expanded globally and is now supported by ruthlessly efficient and profitable online marketing methods.
Nonetheless, advertising mainly serves to distract and entice. The purpose of advertisements is not simply to inform. Consumers can find information about products from a number of sources independentlyof their own volition. Advertising attracts individuals and creates new desires that divert them from healthier ways of livingdistract from healthier modes of living. For example, the average person would be better served by eating a healthy diet and exercising regularly. However, ubiquitous advertisements for fast food make this difficult, in some cases impossible, to achieve. Generalised across a range of consumer products, it is clear that people are being drawn unhealthily towards their worst impulses.
In conclusion, the benefits of advertising for the business world do not outweigh its psychological impact on the average citizen. A world without advertising is not feasible, butnot feasible but it is still possible to limit one’s exposure.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, consistent position and develops both the commercial benefits and individual harms of advertising with relevant, well-connected examples. Its main limitation is that the positive case focuses almost entirely on businesses, leaving possible benefits to individuals unexplored. The highest-priority improvement is to broaden that side of the discussion while retaining the essay's precise, controlled style.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay directly discusses both perspectives, maintains a clear opinion, and develops its main ideas with relevant explanation and examples.
Develop a specific positive effect on individuals as well as businesses to make the discussion even more comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader without becoming intrusive.
Strengthen the bridge between the historical business example and the broader claim about current commercial benefits.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced argument, with only isolated spelling and collocational slips.
Proofread for small lapses such as the misspelling of automobile and slightly awkward combinations such as positive boon.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex sentence structures is used accurately and naturally, with errors rare and non-impeding.
Refine occasional article and phrasing choices, such as describing advertising as a negative, to increase idiomatic precision.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some feel that the effects of advertising are positive for individuals and businesses, while others think they are negative. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.