More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve the problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The issue of obesity is becoming increasingly prevalent, leading some to propose that raising the prices of fattening foods could be an effective solution. While this approach has some merit, I believe it is only partially effective and could have unintended consequences.
On the one hand, increasing the price of unhealthy, fattening foods can help reduce obesity to some extenthelp solve the problem of obesity to some extent. One benefit of this policypractice is that it might encourage individuals, especially those who are obese, to reconsider their dietary choices. When unhealthy food items become more expensive, people may be more likely to choose more affordable healthier alternativeshealthier alternatives that are more reasonably priced. For instance, if the cost of sugary drinks like soda or alcohol rises significantly, consumers might opt for healthier options such as water or fruit juice, which are generally cheaper. Additionally, imposing higher taxes on the production of fattening foodshigher production taxes on fattening foods could lead companies to either reduce the production of or stop producing such itemseither reduce or stop producing such items. Fearing a loss of profitFearing loss of profit or even bankruptcy, businesses might shift totowards manufacturing healthier products, thus reducing the availability of unhealthy food options in the market.
However, opponents of this strategy, including me,opponents of this strategy including me would argue that it has more drawbacks than benefits. For one, altering the food market in such a manner could force consumers to change their habitsdisrupt consumer habits, leading to dissatisfaction among customers. Businesses that are customer-centered may hesitate to change their product lines drastically, fearing that they may lose customersfearing a loss of their consumer base. Moreover, increasing the prices of fattening foods could disproportionately affect people on low incomespeople with limited economic means. As food companies pivot towards producing healthier items, the prices of these products might rise as well, making it difficult for low-income individuals to afford them. This could create a situation where healthier options become a luxury, accessible only to those with higher incomes, while those with less financial flexibility continue to consume unhealthy, but now more expensive, food.
In conclusion, while raising the prices of fattening foods could encourage some people to make healthier choices and potentially lead companies to produce healthier products, it is not a comprehensive solution. A more balanced approach, perhaps combining price adjustments with education and access to healthy foodaccessibility to healthy foods, would likely be more effective in addressing the growing problem of obesity.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response maintains a clear qualified position and uses a logical two-sided structure with substantial explanation. Its main limitation is that several causal claims—especially that higher taxes would make firms stop producing unhealthy food and that healthier products would also become more expensive—are speculative or insufficiently justified. The highest-priority improvement is to develop fewer consequences more rigorously with realistic evidence and tighter links to whether price rises would reduce obesity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the question directly and sustains a clear partial-agreement position, but some supporting consequences are speculative or loosely reasoned.
Select fewer effects and explain each causal chain convincingly, showing exactly how price changes would influence obesity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically sequenced in well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly through the argument.
Strengthen the internal progression of the drawbacks paragraph by linking each business or affordability point more directly to the central claim.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad topic-appropriate vocabulary, though a few choices such as production taxes and accessibility to healthy foods are imprecise or awkward.
Use more exact collocations, such as taxes on producers and access to healthy food, and avoid loosely classified examples.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentences is handled with strong control, and errors are rare and non-impeding.
Refine punctuation around inserted phrases and use a more natural construction than opponents of this strategy including me.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve the problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.