Doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, however, not many of them have an exercise routine. Why do you think it is happening? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?
Sample Response
It is common forIt is seen that medical practitioners often provide guidance to the older generation to exerciseto have physical exercise as part of their daily routineto be followed in their daily lives. However, most of them do not haveare not found to have a regular routine for this practice. This essay examinesThis essay is an attempt to look into the causes of this trend and some ways to address itsome solutions to overcome it.
First of all, withWith the increase in modernisation and technology, the younger generation is in their busy schedule to finish their work. They do not have timeThey are not getting time to spend with their family. This often leads their parents to feel lonely, and they maywould not be able to exercisedo workouts due to a lack of support and guidance from their family members. Moreover, it has also been noticed that many of them are spending a lot of time doing household choresspending a lot of time on their daily household chores, and hence they often fail to look afterhence often fail to look after their own health. For instance, older people look after their grandchildren and playplays with them as they find happiness in spending time with them.
However, there are some steps that should be taken in order to reverseavoid this trend. Families and the young generation should find timefind an amount of time to spendshare with their parents in their daily lives. They should provide constant support and encouragement to exercise regularlyencouragement for doing healthy workouts, which can do a lot for older ones to be physically healthy. With the advent of the internet and technology, there are many videos related to exercise on social media platforms to guide older peopleto guide and show it to older people. To make it clear, they can play these videos on a TV or mobile deviceon TV or mobile and hence, they can follow them with ease. Moreover, rewards and surprise gifts can be provided in order to motivate them.
To conclude, lack of support and guidance from the youth and a busy lifestyle are found to be some of the barriers preventing older people from exercisinghindrances for the old ones to have physical activities in their daily routine. However, they should provide enough care and time for their loved ones to follow the exercise guided by their doctors.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response clearly covers both causes and practical ways to encourage exercise, and its four-paragraph structure makes the argument easy to follow. Its main limitation is that several ideas, especially family support and rewards, are asserted in fairly general terms, while frequent awkward collocations and grammatical slips reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop each cause-solution link with a more specific explanation while using simpler, more natural sentence patterns.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with relevant causes and solutions, although some ideas remain broadly explained.
Develop each proposed solution by explaining precisely how it would overcome a stated barrier to exercise.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear cause-to-solution structure with generally logical paragraphing and progression.
Use linking expressions more selectively and strengthen the logical connection between each example and its main point.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but recurring awkward collocations reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace strained phrases such as general labels for older people and exercise with simpler, idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms conveys the message, though agreement and sentence-structure errors recur.
Check subject-verb agreement and clause construction carefully, especially in sentences containing several ideas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, however, not many of them have an exercise routine. Why do you think it is happening? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.