Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Smoking has inevitably been a concern of governments around the globe considering how to manage and educate smoking people. This is due largely to the danger of the substance contained in cigarettesthe substance contained in the cigarettes, nicotine. As its drawback may also occur for the people near the smokers, policies related to this, particularly in public places, should be taken into account; whether it should be banned or not.
I personally think that forbidding such dangerous activity will be highly beneficial becausewill be much beneficial that it can prevent others from developing respiratory problemshaving a vulnerable respiratory system. Moreover, this can keep public places cleanmaintain the places so clean that people could always find them pleasantfascinating with less air pollution. However, governments should designate special placesconsciously provide some special places which, in this case, can be used for smoking.
One practical challenge is thatOn the other hand, people who are currently addicted to smokinghave currently been addicted to smoke would find it difficult to avoidwould feel hard to avoid smoking in such places. As a result, they may smoke in violation of the rulesmoke breaking the rule and not even feeling guilty. For this reason, there are two steps to addresstwo steps then to encounter this likely problemprobable emerging problem. First, some strict law and appropriate punishment such as to pay more tax or to give any charity orphans or others needing. Second, education is one of the most prominent and essential ways to change people’s beliefspeoples’ belief in terms of smokinghaving their cigarette burnt.
However, banning such activity in public places is not merely a way to prevent others from the harm caused by smokethe harms of smokes, but it can alsowill, to a larger extent, possibly be able to raiseelevate people’s awareness of how dangerous smoking is.
To sum up, although smokers may find it difficult not to smokedespite being a hard thing for smokers to not smoke, the policy which bans smoking in public places should be applied in order to save others. Nonetheless, people’s education in terms of the drawbacks of smoking is a part of this aim.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a consistent view in favour of a public smoking ban and organises its discussion around protecting others, designated smoking areas, enforcement, and education. However, development becomes diffuse and several arguments are expressed through awkward or inaccurate wording, with frequent grammatical problems. The highest priority is to focus each body paragraph on one directly relevant reason and explain it in clear, accurately formed sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear supporting position is maintained and relevant benefits and practical measures are discussed, although some points remain general or drift toward implementation.
Develop the central reasons for agreement more fully and connect enforcement or education explicitly to the effectiveness of the proposed ban.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and overall progression are clear, but some linking expressions introduce relationships imprecisely and one short paragraph interrupts the flow.
Use each paragraph for one developed function and select connectors according to whether the relationship is contrast, result, or addition.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms make the expression unnatural.
Prioritise accurate combinations such as passive smoking, harmful effects, designated smoking areas, and raise awareness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but frequent errors in clause formation, articles, prepositions, possession, and sentence completeness weaken accuracy.
Build complete main clauses first, then add subordinate clauses while checking agreement, articles, and prepositions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.