New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Currently,Currently, it is true that the way children spend their leisure time has changed because of new technologieshas been changed by new technology. While this has several benefits, I believe that the drawbacks far outweigh them.
On the one hand, there are some advantages to children spending their spare time using new technologiesspare time on advanced technologies. Firstly, many children enjoymany children tend to enjoy playing computer games, and such games might help improve their cognitive development. For example, strategic games require players to solve problems and dealbe good at problem-solving and be able to deal with unexpected situations, so children who play these games can improvebetter their logical thinking and problem-solving skills. Secondly, since the amount of online information is vastthe source of online information is huge and readily available, young people might benefit from early exposure to the Internet. If people are able to browse the Internet at a young age, they can start their learning process earlier, and as a result, can expandadvance their knowledge as they grow up.
However, I would argue that the advantages discussed above are outweighed by the disadvantages. One main drawback is that children who enjoy spending time in front of the computer screen are often reluctant to exercisereluctant to do exercise. Low physical activity levels are likely to result in children becoming overweight, and in turn, they would end up being obese. In addition, some games tempt childrenpeople to continue playing for hours, which could lead to gaming addiction. In role-playing games, for instance, childrenpeople might need to stay in front of the computer for several hours in order to progress to higher levels, and therefore children may spend an excessive amount of time on games.
In conclusion, while there are some advantages to children spending time on advanced technologies, it seems to me that the disadvantages are more significant.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response answers the question directly, maintains a clear comparative position, and develops both benefits and drawbacks with relevant explanations and examples. The main limitation is occasional imprecision or repetition in otherwise strong language, particularly in descriptions of technology and online information; the highest-priority improvement is to tighten those expressions and make the comparison of overall significance slightly more explicit.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses both sides and sustains a clear view that the disadvantages are more significant.
Add one sentence explicitly weighing the long-term severity of the health and addiction risks against the educational benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is purposeful, progression is easy to follow, and cohesive devices connect ideas without obscuring the argument.
Reduce minor repetition of children, games, and advantages by using tighter referencing within each paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, though a few phrases such as advanced technologies and the source of online information is huge sound unnatural.
Use more idiomatic combinations, such as digital technology and a vast amount of online information, to improve precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex sentences is handled accurately, with only occasional awkward passive or conditional choices.
Prefer direct constructions and keep hypothetical verb forms consistent, especially when describing likely consequences for children.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.