The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinions.
Sample Response
Some people say that the availability of technology is widening the gap between the rich and the poor, while others thinkwhile other people think it is closing the gap. Personally, I believe that the availability of technology has little effect onhas little to do with the gap between the rich and the poor.
On the one handOn one hand, having access to the most advancedlatest and most advanced technology could bring a number of financial benefits to people. Advancements in technology have brought about majorlarge changes in the way people work and do business, particularly by improving workplace efficiencyand more specifically, in the efficiency of most workplaces. Technology has enhanced the productivity of most businesses around the world, particularly in manufacturing processes, and this has consequently boosted the profits of many companies, and therefore possibly made many wealthy businessmen even richer, thereby increasing the wealth gap.
However, with an increase in the availability of many new technologies, it is also becoming more affordable for the large majority of people, which has provided more equal opportunities between people, whether rich or poor. For example, the internet has become extremely widespread throughout the world these days and has provided people of all financial status access to a great deal of information that they can use to their advantage to help them educate themselves in order to live better lives, and therefore potentially decrease the gap.
In conclusion, I do not believe that access to technology really has much impact on the gap between rich and poor people. It is education and the application of knowledgeeducation and the acquisition and application of knowledge that may affect the wealth gap between rich and poor.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear discussion of how technology can widen the wealth gap through business gains and narrow it through broader access to information. The main limitation is that the stated view—that technology has little impact—is only briefly justified and is not fully reconciled with those examples. Develop the final position throughout the body and tighten the long, heavily coordinated sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are relevantly discussed and a clear opinion is given, but the writer’s own position receives limited development.
Explain within the body why the opposing technological effects are secondary to education, rather than introducing that reasoning mainly in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure is logical and progression is easy to follow, though several long sentences carry too many linked ideas.
Break extended causal chains into more focused sentences and make the transition from the two views to the final opinion more explicit.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate for technology, productivity, access, and inequality, with some noticeable repetition and imprecision.
Vary repeated references to “technology,” “people,” and “the gap,” and use more precise expressions for financial circumstances and opportunity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a good range of complex structures with generally clear meaning, despite occasional agreement and reference problems.
Correct unclear pronoun reference and agreement in constructions such as “many new technologies, it” and simplify overlong coordinated clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinions.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.