Advanced technologies like cell phone tracking and security cameras are being used to monitor people’s activities. In many cases, people who are being monitored are unaware of that and many people oppose the use of such monitoring for this reason. Others, however, say that to track crimes it is important to use such technology. Do you think the advantages of monitoring people’s activity outweigh the disadvantages it has?
Sample Response
Technology has advanced beyond the basic needs of people and nowadays offers devices that can be used to track people's activitiestrack activities of people through mobile phones, CCTV cameras and similar devicesCCTV cameras etc. Although the main idea behind making such devices is to ensure people's safetysafety of the people and avert criminal acts, Deletehowever, many incidents havehas been reported in which these devices were usedwhere in these devices was used to record activities of people without their knowledge. At the same time, in my viewas I would like to think, such misuse of technology in present times still cannot outweighcannot still override the benefits derived from it.
It is true that the number of cases reported involving the use of devicesreported on use of devices for invasions of people's privacyinfringement into people private without their consent has increased in the past few years. In reality, all such cases are due to malicious intentions of peoplewrong minds of the people who believe in exploiting others and will notwon't hesitate to use any means to achieve their purpose. Such people can harm others even without the use of technology.
Despite the disadvantageous use of technology by unreliable people, it cannot be denied that development of devicesdevice for the use of monitoring people's activitiesmonitoring people exercises has proved enormously beneficial in reducing the cost of ensuring securityreducing cost spend on the guaranteeing security of individuals at public places, offices and remote areas. The money savedThis spared measure of cash can further be utilized on other welfare initiativesprospects of individuals.individuals.. Additionally, with the use of these gadgetswith the utilization these gadget, the crime rate has reduced and it is easy to findit's easy of find the real culprit behind the crime. Besides, tracking through mobile phones made it difficult to abscond for the guilty.
To sum up, technology does not promote the criminal acts, it's the unethical people who use it for wrong purposes and the unaccountable advantages of technology cannot be supersedes by such abuses.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear view that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks and organizes the discussion into recognizable stages. Its main limitation is that key ideas are only partly developed, especially the privacy disadvantage, while frequent grammatical and word-choice errors make several sentences awkward or difficult to process. The priority is to explain each side with precise examples and then revise systematically for sentence structure, agreement, articles, and collocation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is answered with a clear position and relevant points on both sides, but development is uneven and sometimes superficial.
Explain how privacy violations directly harm monitored people and compare that harm more explicitly with the claimed security benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a logical overall sequence and clear paragraph purposes, although some sentence connections are strained or mechanical.
Use simpler transitions and ensure that each supporting sentence clearly advances the paragraph's central claim.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary to discuss surveillance and crime, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Replace unnatural phrases with standard combinations such as privacy infringement, security costs, and substantial benefits.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted and the main meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and clause structure are frequent.
Prioritize complete sentence boundaries and check subject-verb agreement and noun forms in every sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Advanced technologies like cell phone tracking and security cameras are being used to monitor people’s activities. In many cases, people who are being monitored are unaware of that and many people oppose the use of such monitoring for this reason. Others, however, say that to track crimes it is important to use such technology. Do you think the advantages of monitoring people’s activity outweigh the disadvantages it has?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.