Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?
Sample Response
The internet has become a main source of information in thisthis generation. While some people believe the internet has caused more harm compared to good, others believe that censorshipa censorship removes any possible acts of freedom. I believe the government should censor specific contentcontents of some websites, but they should not restrict non-harmful information online.
On the one handIn one hand, the government has a responsibility to protect us online. False information, cyberbullyingCyber bullying, onlineOnline scams can spread rapidly viathrough the help of the internet. By regulating specific materials, authorities can improve the safety of individualssafety of individuals and reduce online crime rates. For example, recent cases of fake pop-ups onin websites can lead to a false narrative of being hacked. The solution of the virus is to call a scam call company impersonating a certain technology company leading to fraud.
OnIn the other hand, the government having control overon censorship may lead to abuse of power. The government can remove or hide certain articles about important information and true statistics about the country. This may lead to citizens not having balanced information about certain topics that might affecteffect their political view. Therefore, the government regulation should only apply to certain websites that causecauses harm, not opinions.
In conclusion, I believe governments should control the internet to protect society from harmful and illegal content. However, This control should be carefully limited so that citizens' freedom is not hinderedto citizen's freedom isn't hindered. Citizens might lead to other options of riot or complainingcomplaing if they feel certain information isare censored to hide certain information from the public.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay's strongest aspect is its clear and balanced position on the extent of government censorship, which directly addresses the prompt. However, the main limitation lies in frequent grammatical slips, particularly with prepositions, capitalization, and sentence structures. To improve, the candidate should focus on refining grammatical accuracy and mastering common transitional phrases.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses the prompt by presenting a clear, nuanced position on the extent of government control and supporting it with relevant arguments.
To reach a higher band, ensure all supporting examples are fully developed and clearly linked back to the main argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs with a clear progression of ideas, though some cohesive devices are used inaccurately.
Practice using standard transitional phrases correctly, such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand', instead of 'In one hand'.
Lexical Resource
The candidate uses a good range of topic-specific vocabulary, such as 'censorship', 'abuse of power', and 'false narrative', though some minor spelling and word choice errors occur.
Work on distinguishing commonly confused words, such as 'affect' versus 'effect', and proofread for spelling mistakes like 'complaing'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is used, but frequent errors in capitalization, prepositions, and sentence construction are noticeable.
Focus on basic punctuation rules, particularly avoiding unnecessary capitalization of words mid-sentence and ensuring complete sentence structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.