Traffic is a very serious problem. The pedestrians and bicycle riders are facing more and more danger. Many gardens become sacrifices to highways. What are the best ways to make the citizens satisfied?
Sample Response
The traffic problem hasTraffic problem has already become the biggest concern in many countries in the world, not only because of the environmental pollutionpollutions caused by the exhaust gasesexhausted gas and noise pollutionirritating noise but also the danger it poses tothe menace it takes to the bicycle riders and pedestrians. Furthermore, many gardens and grasslands give way to the rapid development of transport infrastructuretraffic facilities like highways, flyovers and avenues, leaving increasingly less spaceless and less space for the citizens.
Admittedly, the development of road constructionthe road construction stimulates economic growthstimulates the prosperity of the economy in a country. For example, the increase in the employment rateincrease of employment rate, the sales of private carssales of the private cars and the high taxes levied on car owners are what a government expects. But as a responsible government, it should have a long-term development plan instead of the pursuit of short-term gainsa short-term profit. A responsible government should always give priority to people's needs and concernspeople's appeal and necessity.
To make the citizens satisfied, firstly, a government should preserve more gardens and meadows for citizenspreserve for the citizens more gardens and meadows, where people can spend weekends with their friends and family. Gardens and meadows can also purify the polluted air, creating a good environment for the citizens. Secondly, a government should encourage the use of public transport and limit the ownership of private cars. As the economy developsDue to the economic development, many citizens can afford a private car. Take Shenzhen as an example:Take Shenzhen as an example, the sales of private cars are increasingsales of private cars increase by 5,000 every month. It is difficult to see howIt is hard to imagine if the current roads can accommodate such a large number of carsso large a number of cars five or ten years later. Finally, a government should consider the relationshiprelation between economic development and environmental protection, leaving more green spaceslands to our descendants.
To sum up, economic development and environmental protection do not contradict each other. If a government is responsible, it should make no efforts to give people a comfortable living environment.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response offers several relevant, clearly sequenced measures, especially preserving green space, promoting public transport, and limiting private cars. Its main limitation is that substantial space is spent on general background and economic benefits while some proposed solutions remain broad, and frequent awkward collocations weaken precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop the practical operation and expected effect of each solution while editing vocabulary for natural, accurate usage.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question with several relevant solutions and supporting explanation, although some discussion is indirect and the final environmental recommendation is broad.
Prioritize the proposed measures and explain concretely how each would improve safety, congestion, green space, and citizen satisfaction.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear problem-to-solution progression with focused paragraphs and effective signposting, though the solution sequence is somewhat mechanical.
Organize the solutions by impact or implementation and use clearer logical links between the transport measures and their intended outcomes.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, but frequent awkward or inaccurate collocations such as exhausted gas, menace it takes, and make no efforts reduce precision.
Replace unnatural combinations with established phrases such as exhaust fumes, danger posed to pedestrians, public needs, and make every effort.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally clear meaning, but article, plural, agreement, and sentence-boundary errors are noticeable.
Review articles and countability, and separate independent clauses correctly instead of joining them with commas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Traffic is a very serious problem. The pedestrians and bicycle riders are facing more and more danger. Many gardens become sacrifices to highways. What are the best ways to make the citizens satisfied?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.