Nowadays, many people are following an unhealthy diet and no exercise. Why do you think is this happening? How can this situation be corrected?
Sample Response
We all agree that the secret to a healthy life is eating clean food and exercising regularly. Yet, in today’s modern world, a large proportion of peoplea big chunk of individuals lead an unhealthy lifestyle by consuming junk food and avoiding physical activityeliminating physical activities. This essay will illustrate the factors drivingsupporting this trend and ways to overcome these habits collectivelysuch habits unitedly.
One commonly cited reason for maintaining an unhealthy diet, particularly amongst the working class, is time. Amid the pandemic, globally, people are functioning from home, which is demanding and stressful, leaving them no time to cook. This, however, compels an individual to order food or prepare instant packaged meals, thereby being oblivious to its ill effects. Foods such as fast food and refined productsMeals like junk food and refined food items are fillingfill up the stomach but have no nutritional value. Indulging in greasy, preservative-filled fast-food items and getting accustomed to such a dietsuch palate repeatedly creates detrimental health problems over time that are inevitable. For the same reasonOwing to the same reason, people also avoid participating in any form of sport or exercise. Without sufficient physical activityWith no burning of unwanted body fat, it eventually accumulates in the body, resultingbody resulting in heart ailments. Undoubtedly, leading a sedentary lifestyle also affects one’s physical and mental wellbeing immensely.
Despite people eating unhealthy foodthe masses eating unhealthy food unknowingly, there are various ways to curb its consumption. The government should educate its citizens on healthy living by running awareness campaigns, promoting healthy habits widelyadvertising aggressively and teaching school children the importance of healthy living from an early age. For instance, the Food for Soul initiative on organic farm produce at subsidized rates by the central government attracted communities to buy healthy prepared foodclean cooked food at a nominal rate last season. Similarly, a strong outlook should be provided for exercise. To keep people fit, the government should make it mandatory for residential societies and complexes to install exercising equipment like pull-up barsbars for pullups, or cross-trainers for arm and torso exercisesexercising and some weights in the garden area. This will help people save time commuting to gyms and offer them the flexibility to work out at their convenience. Definitely, if small changes are implemented, society as a wholewe as a whole society will be bound to exercise regularly and watch what we eat.
In conclusion, due to time constraints, people are unable to prepare healthy food or spare time for workouts which affects our bodies in the long run. However, if taught an alternate way to eat healthily and exercising few times a week, many diseases and ailments can be reversed, resulting in a hale and hearty individual.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response directly addresses both causes and solutions, and its practical government measures are clearly explained and supported. Its main limitation is that the causal analysis rests almost entirely on time pressure and occasionally relies on sweeping or doubtful claims, while several awkward word choices and grammatical slips reduce precision. Prioritise a broader, more balanced explanation of the causes and edit collocations and sentence structure for natural accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are answered with relevant, extended ideas, although the explanation of causes is narrow and some support is questionable.
Develop at least one additional distinct cause and support each solution with a realistic, clearly connected explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through causes, solutions, and a conclusion, with generally effective paragraphing and linking.
Use fewer formulaic transitions and make pronoun references and sentence-to-sentence links more precise.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic vocabulary is used, but several unnatural collocations and word choices weaken precision.
Replace awkward expressions such as “eliminating physical activities” and “a strong outlook” with natural, context-specific phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures successfully, though recurring agreement, article, reference, and parallelism errors remain noticeable.
Proofread complex sentences for subject agreement, clear pronoun reference, and parallel verb forms, especially in conditional clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, many people are following an unhealthy diet and no exercise. Why do you think is this happening? How can this situation be corrected?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.