While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Today, individualsToday individuals are more inclined towards pursuing a career in supply chain managementSupply Chain Management or marketingMarketing than they are in vocational tradesprofessions. The obsession with the prestigesilver tag that comes along with a master's degree in business administrationa Masters in Business Administration degree from a reputablereputed business school or a doctorateDoctorate in any academic discipline has grown considerablyhas risen drastically over the years. Consequently, professions like plumbing, construction and automobile repairautomobile repairing to name a few have been neglected by most peopleby a majority. Thus, I wholeheartedly believe that such blue-collar training in these trades should be promotedtrades should be facilitated as they are vital to society. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on the topic and justify my views with relevant examplesinstances.
It is a known fact that executives manage and enable the smooth functioning of any organization. At the same time, the simple fact also has to be acknowledged that no organization can function without ground-level workers. One of the prime reasons people avoidreasons for people to avoid labour-intensive jobs is that such jobs pay minimum wagessuch employment operates on minimum wage, especially in developing countriesthird-world countries. Thus the upliftment of such segments of the population and improvement of wages for such workers should be undertaken by the government.
Another barrier to entering such occupationshindrance to the growth of such occupations is the lack of proper education and training facilities. That being said, it is of the utmost importance to acquire thorough knowledge of a vocationprocure thorough and sufficient knowledge on the vocation to practice it professionally. Therefore, the absence of modern and sophisticated courses and schooling leads to a shortage of better employment opportunities.
HoweverAlthough, it is important to understand that a human being always prefers a better and higher standard of living. Accordingly, the incentives for vocational work need to be increasedbenefits of seeking vocational work need to be expanded to make it more appealing to the public.
Finally, I would like to conclude by saying that a line of work should not be judged by its nature. Every job is a craft in its own right and all of them should be treated equally.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response states a firm position and follows a generally clear progression through wages, training provision, and the appeal of vocational work. Its main limitation is that these points are asserted rather than fully explained as reasons more people should be encouraged into training, while several unnatural word choices weaken precision; developing concrete cause-and-effect support and using more idiomatic collocations should be the priority.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and relevant reasons are introduced, but support is limited and the conclusion shifts toward equal respect for all jobs.
Explain with specific examples how better pay and training would attract entrants and resolve the worker shortage named in the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall sequence is understandable, but brief body paragraphs and mechanical connectors create uneven progression.
Combine closely related ideas into fuller paragraphs and use transitions that express the precise logical relationship between points.
Lexical Resource
There is a broad vocabulary range, but recurring awkward collocations such as ‘silver tag,’ ‘facilitated,’ and ‘procure knowledge’ reduce precision.
Replace inflated or literal phrases with natural terms such as status, promote vocational training, and acquire skills.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is mostly controlled, though punctuation and clause-linking errors occur in forms such as ‘Although, it is important’.
Use subordinators only when the dependent clause is completed by a clear main clause, and check punctuation around introductory phrases.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.