Some people think that young people should spend more of their free time at home with their families, and spend less time entertaining outside. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
There are differing views as to how young people should spend their leisure time. Many individuals contend that they should spend more of it with their familiesuse it more on family and less on entertainment, but others argue otherwise. I agree with the latter view although it is important to spend time with their parentsaccompany ones’ parents.
On the one hand, if most young people spend more time at homestay more at home, they will likely form a closer family bond. It is reasonable to believe that parents' desire for positive family ties becomes stronger as they grow olderas their age grows, and this desire can be better metsuch anxiety can better be alleviated when their children spend time with themby the way children harmonize with them. Additionally, the traditional responsibility of caring for older family membersthe elders encouragesinculcates and encourages young adults to value family. Over time, favourable relationships will developfavorable relations will be developed and improve family well-being in returnbring wellbeing to family in return.
On the other hand, advising most young individuals to just stay at home during their free timetheir vacation is not suitable in today’s interdependent society. First, communication between young and old may particularly be hard because age differencesdifference has varied effects on lifestyleskinds of lifestyle, choices of recreation, and ways of thinking. Too much interaction will make their relationship counterproductive, negatively but easily. Recently, my mother and I are at an impasse after quarrelling about the punishment for tax evasion.
Second, some young people can reduce stresswill mostly reduce pressure if they spend more time entertaining themselves like drinking a little in a bar. Admittedly, thisthere can provide a relaxing environment in which they temporarily forget unpleasant events encountered at work. Finally, young people's circle of friendsyoung people's friend circle will be difficult to maintain if there is less frequent socialisingless frequency in socializing. Alienated friendship gets conceivably futile once they are in trouble.
In conclusion, although family is a vital part of life, I think more importance should still be attached to entertainment during one’s leisure time, considering stress reduction and maintaining friendshipsstress reducing and friendship keeping.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response has a clear position and a recognisable discussion of both views, with sensible paragraphing and several relevant reasons. Its main limitation is that some claims and examples are insufficiently explained or implausibly connected, while frequent awkward collocations and sentence constructions weaken precision. Prioritise developing fewer supporting points more convincingly and expressing them in natural, controlled phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the writer's preference is clear, but several supporting points remain thin, tangential, or unconvincing.
Develop fewer reasons in greater depth and use directly relevant examples that clearly demonstrate each claimed effect.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical overall structure and clear paragraph purposes, although progression within the opposing-view discussion is sometimes strained.
Organise each body paragraph around one controlling idea and make the relationship between consecutive sentences explicit and accurate.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonably broad vocabulary and some ambitious expression, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce naturalness.
Prefer well-established phrases such as reduce stress and maintain friendships, and check ambitious combinations for natural usage.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main ideas, though recurring errors in clause construction, articles, agreement, and possessives limit control.
Proofread complex sentences for complete clause patterns and accurate small forms before adding further grammatical complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that young people should spend more of their free time at home with their families, and spend less time entertaining outside. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.