Some people say young people should be completely free to choose their future job but others think young people must be more realistic in their choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Many are of the view that young people should prioritise pragmatic career choices over their passions. In my opinion, young adulthood is an opportunityyouth is an opportunity to follow pursuits with a low probability of success.
Many parents in particular are heavily invested in the idea of security. This is often the case if they had a difficult upbringing or were born into times of national upheaval. For example, many parents in Vietnam who grew up immediately after the American War areAmerican War, are still scarred by their experiences of deprivation. As a result, it is a common refrain in Vietnam these days for young people to complain about how much control their parents have over their choice of universitya major or career. Most students consequently work in safe, tedious fields like finance, banking, advertising, and law. They have job security and a minimum level of earning potentiala basic floor on their earning potential in the event of an economic downturn.
However, failing at a particular career path early in life does not foreclose future success. Most can major in a subject they love, work for several years in that field and the likely results will either be some degree of success or modest failure. If they fail, it is possible to move on in theirone’s twenties to study or work towards a safer, more lucrative position. This riskattempt is also justified by the rare instances of tremendous achievement including famous actors, directors, singers, and other artists. Therefore, choosing a career freely can be justifiedvindicated by the combination of potential fame, less exceptionaltranscendent but still respectable jobs, and the ability to transition to a new career before middle age.
In conclusion, the allure of security does not outweigh the myriad advantages of freely choosing a careerfreely choosing a career one. Parents and students should both consider this approachheed this advice or risk regretting the missed opportunity.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear position and well-developed comparison of security with the benefits of pursuing a preferred career. Its main limitation is occasional awkward or imprecise phrasing, particularly when describing possible outcomes and in the final sentence. The highest-priority improvement is to proofread complex sentences for clean coordination and precise wording while retaining the effective depth of argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly addressed, and the writer's preference for freedom of choice is consistently supported with relevant explanation and examples.
Refine the qualification of risky career choices so the position is expressed with even greater precision.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from the case for security to the case for freedom, with clear paragraphing and generally natural cohesion.
Tighten the internal sequencing of the third paragraph so its possible outcomes and resulting justification connect more smoothly.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas effectively, with only isolated awkward choices.
Replace slightly strained expressions such as references to a basic floor and transcendent jobs with more natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with strong control, and the few errors do not impede communication.
Proofread sentence coordination and remove slips such as the extra word in the concluding phrase about choosing a career.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say young people should be completely free to choose their future job but others think young people must be more realistic in their choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.